


Agony

by HiddenViolet



Category: Star Trek: Voyager
Genre: Crew as Family, Dark fic, Degradation, Dehumanization, Devulcanization, Gen, Hurt Tuvok, Physical Torture, Protectiveness, Psychological Torture, Torture, Whump, protective crew
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-01
Updated: 2020-10-31
Packaged: 2021-03-08 00:00:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 31
Words: 32,488
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26756185
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HiddenViolet/pseuds/HiddenViolet
Summary: Tuvok is kidnapped and tortured.
Relationships: Tuvok & Voyager Crew
Comments: 90
Kudos: 15
Collections: Whumptober 2020





	1. Hanging

**Author's Note:**

> I am writing this both for Whumptober and because there is hardly any Tuvok whump and that is a tragedy.

Tuvok pried open his eyes and almost immediately shut them. The light shining in his face was nearly blinding. Despite that, he controlled the pain and kept them open. He tried to look around, attempting to catalog his surroundings and form a plan to get out of there.

Unfortunately, he was in a non-descript room that didn’t give his location away. Bare grey walls, a wooden chair a few feet from him, and a table with several tools on it were the only things around. Tuvok glanced over the tools and decided it wouldn’t be logical to dwell on what they would be used for.

Tuvok decided to take stock of himself. He focused on the feelings in his arms and legs. For the first time, he noticed that his feet didn’t touch the ground, and his entire weight was on his wrists. They were cuffed above him and left him dangling there.

Tuvok closed his eyes to focus on creating a plan to get out of there. Although it was becoming readily apparent that he would have to wait for someone to come get him. He would be forced to remain here until someone allowed him an advantage.

If someone ever did come back.

Tuvok brushed that thought from his mind, knowing it wouldn’t do ruminate about something he had no control over. He needed to think about what he would do when they came to deal with him.

As much as he tried to formulate a plan of escape, the pain was too distracting. The dangling was nearly unbearably painful, even for his physically stronger body. Which likely meant he had been there a while. For a few minutes, he allowed his mind to focus solely on what he was feeling.

The ache in his shoulders consuming him. The pinch and grind of his wrists, dropping him into an ocean of inescapable pain. Tuvok allowed his head to go under that sea of agony, indulging in the feeling of sheer torment he was undergoing. Then, once he felt he had experienced it fully, he resurfaced.

He broke the surface of that pain and worked on pushing it down. He made sure he was keeping his head entirely above water. He took several deep breaths, and this time when he tried to focus, it worked. He had conquered the torture, and now he could focus on a plan of attack.

“Oh, bravo Lieutenant. That was amazing. I’ve never seen such self-discipline before. Some can accept it; some can ignore it, but I’ve never seen a person simply overcome this kind of pain.” A man stepped out from behind him. He was a species Tuvok had never seen before and had a triumphant look on his face.

“That was spectacular. I just knew that you were going to be so much fun for me to play with.”

“What do you want from me?”

The man grinned sadistically. “I want to torture you into madness. I want to watch as your entire identity succumbs to the desperate feeling of pain and anguish. You’re not the first, although if you keep going as you have, you might be the last. I am looking for the perfect specimen of strength and endurance when it comes to torture. I’ve never met one of your kind before, and you show an impressive amount of strength. You just might be what I’m looking for.”

“How were you able to kidnap me?”

His smile grew even wider. “Oh darling, you kidnap people, you steal objects. You, my sweetheart, were stolen. Plucked right away from your team and brought here. Your crew is going to have no idea where to look for you. They will scour the planet you were on and find nothing. Although fear, not my lovely thing, if you do well enough in my experiments, you’ll be able to escape and return to them.”

“You can’t possibly think I will simply allow you to torture me.”

He laughed, high and cruel. “Oh no, I plan on making sure _you don’t have a choice_.”

Tuvok’s world exploded into agony, and he couldn’t help but cry out. His body swung slowly back and forth, and the extra pressure was impossible to deal with. He desperately gasped for breath, trying to get a decent breath in. His body slowed its movements, and he nearly sobbed in relief.

“Mmm, that was amazing again. You cried out, but you didn’t let any tears fall. You truly are an amazing creature. I am looking forward to our time together. Now, you will remain there until you beg for mercy, or I get tired of looking at you hanging from the ceiling. Should we see what comes first? I’ll see you later.”

He left the room via a door behind Tuvok, slamming it with a permanent sounding thud. Tuvok’s body was overcome by the shockwaves of pain that radiated down his arms. Tuvok moved to his breathing technique, allowing the calm from earlier to soothe him.

He usually was good at keeping track of the time internally, but the lack of external markers and the internal pain made it impossible. He had no idea how long he had spent hanging from his wrists. He just knew that it took him much longer the second time to take control than it did the first time.

He spent several hours dozing and trying to draw on his reserves of strength. Tuvok still had faith that Captain Janeway and the rest of the crew would find and rescue him. Humans were shockingly resourceful. They could do things that other species wouldn’t even imagine.

He finally found a modicum of peace in his sleep. Allowing his eyes to close, and his mind drifted from what was happening to him on the outside. However, even then, the pain from his position filtered in and stayed with him.

Tuvok did not allow pessimism to take over. He would persevere through this. Whether or not the crew of Voyager came to get him, he would survive.


	2. Collar

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An addition is made to Tuvok's captivity.

It had quickly become apparent to Kell’an that Tuvok was much too dangerous to have around without some insurance. At least, that’s what Tuvok assumed. After 3 escape attempts that nearly succeeded and 4 that didn’t even get close, he returned to Tuvok’s cell.

Tuvok was in the corner, the most defensible position in this tiny gray room. He watched as Kell’an approached him, holding a ring of metal in his hands. It took Tuvok a moment to realize what he was looking at.

A _collar._ A motherfucking collar.

He reared back and tried to get away from him, but there was nowhere to go. His position was the most defensible, but it left no room to escape. The current torture sessions left him too weak to fight, and he was trapped.

“Now, now, lovely thing. No reason to be scared of this. It’s a shock collar to make sure you don’t get away before I have time to finish my experiments on you.”

Tuvok felt no fear or shame. Yet there was something about this business that had him desperate to getaway. It puzzled him, but he didn’t allow it to show. Men like this were only spurred on by demonstrations of confusion and fear. He needed to get through this alive.

His dignity might no be intact by the end, but he would live to see the Voyager again.

Kell’an gripped the chain that bound Tuvok’s hands to the wall and yanked him forward with it. Tuvok fell on his knees. He tried to get as much distance as the firm grip allowed. This only seemed to amused Kell’an. He wrapped one arm around Tuvok’s shoulders, pinning his arms into place, and lifted the collar with the other.

Tuvok’s breaths began to shorten, his desperation apparent.

Kell’an clamped the metal collar around Tuvok’s neck and locked it tightly. “There we go, handsome thing.”

Tuvok’s tried to breathe, but the collar was _very_ tight. It constricted against his windpipe, and he was forced to take shallow breaths just to get oxygen. Kell’an stepped back to admire the picture.

“Oh, you are just darling, aren’t you? Well, let’s give it a try. Want to make sure it does what it’s supposed to.” He removed a remote and pressed a button. Tuvok gasped at the feeling of electricity pouring into him. He began to hyperventilate, the collar making it impossible to breathe.

Then it finally let up, he slumped to the ground in a heap. Kell’an gave a happy little clap of excitement.

“Oh, that was amazing. You, little thing, are amazing. You just deal with the pain so much better than my previous specimens. I swear money can’t buy you good objects anymore. I had to get you myself, but no matter, you’re here with me now.”

Tuvok refused to give in to the urge to curl into a ball in front of Kell’an. He didn’t want to give him the satisfaction.

“Well, my pet, I must be going. I do have other experiments besides you. Nothing as interesting as you, of course, but still things that need attending to. I’ll see you later, darling.”

Tuvok watched him leave and crawled back to the corner, where he tried to remain as much as possible. He worked on getting as much air into his body as the collar would allow. Once he had his breath mostly back, he began to feel at the collar. Tuvok knew that often the electrical component left weaknesses in the structural integrity of shock collars.

He wasn’t surprised when he found there was none. Obviously, this psycho had victims before him to perfect his technique. Kell’an would never allow for something as pedestrian as a crack to enable one of them to get free.

Tuvok bowed his head and allowed a deep sigh. His emotions were becoming harder and harder to control. His mental faculties were degrading with every moment he spent in this place. Now, this collar seemed to push him even closer to the edge.

His long dark fingers traced along it, checking just one more time that he hadn’t missed a flaw or weakness he could exploit. He tugged lightly against it and felt sparks behind his eyes.

He gasped and bent over, shocked at the way it felt.

“I want to scour every planet we come across for settlements and life signs. Tuvok’s the only Vulcan in this quadrant, it shouldn’t be that hard to tell him from others,” Janeway ordered her crew.

Chakotay looked on in worry. Since their Technical Officer had been plucked from their away team, she had become more and more desperate to find him. She was determined to find him.

They had already discovered that he was no longer on the plane he had been initially taken. A scan of life signs had revealed that there were no Vulcans anywhere in that system. Which meant he had been taken someplace else.

Although Tuvok wasn’t Chakotay’s favorite person, he felt a deep respect for the man. Calm and collected, he was an asset when it came to any situation. He had also begun to develop a tentative friendship with him, something a number of others had as well.

He knew that he wasn’t the only one worried that they would be finding a body rather than the man himself. Despite that, if Janeway wasn’t giving up, neither was he. He would help persevere until they had closure on this, even if they had to search every ship, station, and planet they came across.

All he could hope was that wherever Tuvok was, he wasn’t being hurt. That his captors weren’t planning on killing him. He hoped that the Tuvok that returned would be more or less the same man he was when he left.

However, Chakotay’s instincts, as well as the information of how he had been taken, said otherwise. A job that professional, that fast, and efficient spoke of expertise and experience. That didn’t bode well for whatever they wanted him for.

Chakotay tried to ignore the thought that Tuvok would make a good torture victim. His instincts weren’t always right.


	3. Manhandled

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This like all the others is terrible and probably OOC but I love it anway.

Tuvok didn’t leave his corner unless he was forced to. He had been there for several hours, at least. Although it was impossible to be exact without anything to mark the passing of time. Kell’an had returned several times to gaze at him and inflict the shock collar, but beyond that, he had been left alone when it came to torture.

Tuvok felt the urge to squirm with the pressing issue of his bladder. He had needed to go for a while now, even though he hadn’t had anything to drink. The last time he had a drink, it had been on the Voyager before the away mission. That meant he was fairly thirsty. However, the bladder was the most pressing issue. He knew that eventually, his body would be forced to go.

Tuvok thought to the crew’s description of him. Quiet, confident, regal, and figured they would have a field day. Their Technical Officer just about ready to piss himself while in the custody of a crazy person. Tuvok sometimes felt that his lack of emotion was a bad thing. He didn’t have all of the advantages that came with being a being that felt emotions.

However, at this moment, he was glad of it. He felt no shame in getting ready to wet himself. No anger at his captor, either. Truthfully, he wasn’t even distressed. He just _really_ needed to pee.

“Hello, darling!”

Tuvok looked up as Kell’an entered. Kell’an grinned at him and held up a scrap of cloth.

“Now, I’m not a heartless monster. So, we’re going to do your business, and then you can have a drink of water. I need all of your focus to be on me and my torture. Not your pressing physical needs. I can’t let you see where you are thought. Can’t make your escape too easy. So, I’m putting this lovely little blindfold on you, and then we can go.”

Tuvok gazed at him impassively until his eyes were covered. He was disorientated, relying heavily on his vision. There was a pause long enough to almost get him to ask where they were going. Then a set of strong hands were yanking him to his feet. He stumbled a little as he got there, unsure of where they were going or how to navigate a strange place blind.

“Up, we get.” Kell’an kept a firm grip on his shackled wrists and placed one on his neck, right below the collar. He shoved Tuvok forward, and Tuvok stumbled a bit before regaining his footing. He went where Kell’an steered him. He could hear the door open in front of him and took the time to ponder that it hadn’t been touched at all.

Kell’an dragged him forcefully to their next stop. They only walked for a few minutes, and then Tuvok was being pressed into a room that sounded hollow. He was forced to accept Kell’an’s help in completing his bodily functions.

It occurred to Tuvok that you only cleaned children and objects this way. Even a lot of children weren’t dragged around like this. He gritted his teeth and ignored that thought. Despite Kell’an attempting to degrade and pull him down, he wouldn’t allow it to get to him. He was a sentient being, not a toy to be played with.

That might have been more believable if the man hadn’t had his penis in his hand and guiding him through the act of pissing.

“There we go. Now a quick drink of water, and we can be on our way, can’t we darling?”

The edge of a cup was forced to his lips, and Tuvok took the time to drink as much water as Kell’an would allow him. He had no idea when he would be allowed to have another drink. The cup was pulled away and set someplace behind them.

Then the firm grip was placed again, and Tuvok was being forced forward. He stumbled several times, not able to keep his footing well in the unfamiliar territory. This seemed to amuse Kell’an, and he laughed cruelly behind him.

Tuvok was shoved back into the gray room, chained to the wall and the blindfold removed.

“Now, I’ll be back in a few minutes to continue my experiments. Don’t go anywhere.”

“Hey, how’re you doing?”

Harry looked up at the question from Tom and shrugged. “Fine, I guess.”

“Really? Because it looks as though you are gazing at a Kal-Toh board hoping your partner will magically materialize. Come on, Harry, talk to me.”

“It just doesn’t feel right without him here, you know? Even when he was in charge and we disagreed with his decisions, we still knew he was there for us. Now he’s out there somewhere with God knows what, happening to him, and we can’t do anything.”

“You mean you can’t do anything. Harry, it is not your fault that Tuvok was taken. If Tuvok couldn’t stop whoever did it, you most certainly wouldn’t have been able to.”

“I know that. I just keep thinking that we should be able to do something to find him. More than just scans as we keep on going home. God Tom, he risked everything to rescue the captain and Chakotay, we should be able to do something.”

“And we will, as soon as an option becomes available. Right now, you’re missing your friend and hurting. You feel helpless and like you should do something for him. I won’t lie. We might not ever find him. He could already be dead; he could be in a place we never go near. He could also escape himself and find us. Until we know for sure, and until we have a definite lead, you need to focus on your job. If we do catch up to him, he’s going to need all the help he can get. Alright?”

“Alright. I just want him to get back here safely.” Harry looked down at his Kal-Toh board and thought about the man who had taught him to play. He had been so patient, so understanding. Even though Harry’s request had been bizarre and out of character. Harry just wanted him back home where he belonged.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comment and kudos if you liked it.


	4. Caged

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tuvok's movements are limited.

Tuvok knew that it must’ve been the second day. His hunger was making itself apparent, not yet overwhelming, but starting to get there. His thirst had been partially quenched, but he knew that he would need more water to survive.

He dozed lightly in his corner, making the most of the time he was left alone. He heard the sound of footsteps in the corridor. It had taken effort, but he had done his best to try and distinguish them from the sounds of the rest of the building. He kept his eyes closed but forced his mind awake. He needed to be aware of whatever was going to happen to him.

The door opened, and Kell’an entered looking more delight than usual. Tuvok refused to curl up in a protective ball and stared him down.

“What are you doing?”

“Oh, sweet experiment, I have a new toy I brought with me for us to play with. Ta-da!”

He dragged behind him a moderately sized cage that was just a little larger than Tuvok himself.

“You, my lovely thing, are going to come in here, and we’re going to play a game. Here’s how it works; you get into this cage, and I don’t electrocute you until you pass out. Got it?”

Tuvok gazed at him impassively. Who knew how much damage the electricity was doing to his nervous system? Vulcans were much more likely to have issues surrounding electrical damage because of their telepathy. However, with everything, there was a catch. He refused to believe that this was just a basic cage he would spend some time in. It was very possible that it was worse than the shock collar.

“What’s the catch?” Tuvok asked slowly.

Kell’an giggled lightly. “Oh, you are so smart. Once you get into this cage, I’m going to lower the overall temperature of the room. I’ve discovered that your species prefer warmth over anything else. I want to see how you handle the cold and the pain you are currently in. I think it will be just delicious.”

Tuvok breathed deeply and sighed out. He had a difficult choice, but the second was less likely to cause permanent mental damage. He bowed his head and hoped that his meditation would see him through the agony he was about to undertake.

“The cage.” His words were barely above a whisper, but Kell’an heard them anyway. Kell’an approached where he was chained to the wall and undid the shackles. He took both of Tuvok’s wrists in his hands and led him gently towards the cage. The counterpoint of what had already happened to him, combined with what was currently happening to him, was almost more than he could take.

He stifled the rising emotions, though, and allowed himself to be led quietly. Kell’an opened the cage and gestured towards it. It was worse to have to get inside rather than being forced it. It forced him to confront that this was a choice. This was _his_ choice. Tuvok felt a small welling of shame inside of him and immediately squashed it. This was no time for emotions.

Tuvok climbed inside of the cage. It had enough room for him to sit upright but not much else. Kell’an grinned at him and closed it. He fiddled with the door, locking it probably, then gave a mocking bow.

“Good choice. Now, I really must be on my way. I don’t want to get caught in this room as the temperature drops. It’s going to be very unpleasant.”

Tuvok watched as he left the room. Immediately the temperature began to drop. It seemed that cold air was being pumped into the room as all he could do was shiver desperately at the feeling. He took deep breaths and willed his body to adjust to the feeling, but it was different than pain.

Pain came with a sense of danger but ultimately could be conquered with logic. The pain itself wouldn’t kill him. The cold, on the other hand, might. Tuvok clung to the thought that Kell’an wouldn’t kill his main test subject before he got to do any of the other experiments. He would just take him to the point where he wanted to die.

Tuvok tucked his arms inward and brought his knees into his chest. It was logical to conserve as much warmth as possible. He also tucked his sensitive hands between his thighs. If he could trick his mind into thinking he was warm, maybe it would affect him less.

Finally, the temperature seemed to level off, and Tuvok knew precisely what had been done. It was cold enough to be painful, but he didn’t have the risk of hypothermia for several hours. It did seem like Kell’an had a lot of experience when it came to torture. That didn’t bode well for Tuvok. Exceptional resistance to pain or not, he was still just a person.

Time seemed to slow down. Tuvok knew that it hadn’t actually slowed down; his perception of it had just slowed down. Every second felt like hours, though, and the cold was quickly breaking down his mental barriers. It was working in a way that none of the other things had before.

It soon became apparent why Tuvok was locked in the cage. The temperature was high enough that if he could move around, he would’ve been able to stay warm. The limited movements meant he couldn’t generate any heat beyond what his body naturally made.

It was near to the point that Tuvok was ready to beg for heat back that the temperature began to increase. He took several deep breaths, reveling in the feeling of warmer air on his skin. It took 3 times longer for the room to heat than it had to cool.

Tuvok didn’t know if it was a result of thermodynamics or if Kell’an had just wanted to stretch the torture our further. He wouldn’t put it past the alien to do something like that. Although it did naturally take longer to heat than it did to cool, it might have been intentional.

Somehow, Tuvok doubted that, though.


	5. Failed Escape

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tuvok sends work to Voyager.

Tuvok moved quickly down the corridor and tried to even his breaths out. His steps were muffled by his lack of shoes, and he moved with a sureness he didn’t feel. This was the farthest he had ever gotten in his escape attempts and had come from pure chance.

He had tested the shock collar to see if there was any indication about someone watching him. When none came, he had taken the moment to make a break for it.

Unfortunately, he doubted he would have enough time to make it out of wherever he was. That’s if the shock collar was only limited to here. If it had farther range getting out wouldn’t even matter. That’s not what his goal was, although he was confident that’s what it looked like from the outside. He still had full faith in his Captain and his crew.

He reached a computer console and set himself to working at it. Making it look like he was trying to open the doors. However, what Tuvok was really doing was sending a message buoy for Voyager. If they could get it, they might figure out what planet he was on and make their way there. Then possibly mount a rescue plan.

He had just finished encoding the message and was about to open the doors when the collar activated. He gasped in agony and fell to his knees. Tuvok curled in out himself trying to once again breathe through the sheer unadulterated misery. It stopped so suddenly that he slumped to his side, out of breath.

Kell’an was standing over him, holding the remote and looking disappointed.

“Oh, my darling, I assumed you would do better than this. You didn’t even make it out of the first level. Oh, my sweet, escaping isn’t just in the cards for you. You’ll have to earn your way out if you want to make it. Fear not, you are doing wonderfully in your trials. I just assumed that you’d make it farther. You are so intelligent. Ah, no problem. We’ll do it the old fashion way. Up we get.”

Kell’an dragged Tuvok to his feet. Tuvok didn’t even have the energy to walk on his own back to his cell. That didn’t seem to matter to Kell’an. In fact, it seemed he enjoyed carrying Tuvok’s nearly unconscious body back.

Tuvok wasn’t surprised. Kell’an very clearly enjoyed seeing Tuvok in pain and liked to see his resistance to the alien broken. For him to rely so heavily on him for something as basic as walking? It had to be an absolute joy for him.

The walk, even with Kell’an’s help, was long and painful. Each step shot agony through Tuvok’s body, and the Vulcan desperately hoped that the message had gotten through. If it hadn’t, then this had all been for nothing.

Tuvok allowed that thought to linger. He admitted that it was a possibility, accepted that it might be his reality. However, it had just a good of chance as getting out as not. So, he reduced its possible impact on him, both positive and negative.

Tuvok pondered his captor. It was always good to find out as much information as you can when taken. Unlike most abductors, he seemed focused only on his work and the torture he inflicted on his victims. There was no gain in money or prestige. Satisfied ultimately with his work and life.

Tuvok knew that it didn’t bode well for him, but it was vital information to have. He wouldn’t be able to bargain or bribe his way out. He was stuck until he could escape, the Voyager would rescue him or Kell’an let him go. That meant he wouldn’t even bother focusing on that part of the situation. He would redirect his mental efforts towards a viable plan.

Tuvok also thought about what had led him here. What had warped the man so that he believed his job was to torture people in the name of research? A personal tragedy, perhaps. Or maybe, a humiliating instance at another job. It was even possible, thought Tuvok didn’t place a lot of credit to this theory, that he was born with it. That it was merely a random combination of bad genetics creating a psycho.

Harry Kim looked up as he caught a binary code. He quickly scanned and decoded it. Then he checked twice more to make sure what he was seeing was correct.

“Captain! I have something you are going to want to see this. Probably in private.”

She turned to him and raised an eyebrow. “By all means, Mr. Kim. We’ll be in my ready room.”

They walked together into the room off of the bridge.

“What is it, Harry? You seem excited but didn’t want to say anything on the bridge.”

“I just picked up a message in standard Starfleet binary. It’s a written message only. However, it’s accompanied by Tuvok’s clearance code.”

She straightened her back and looked up, hope blooming in her chest. “Do you think it could actually be him? How far away is it? What does it say?”

“I think it’s him. That code is only useful in sending messages and nothing else. I didn’t want to say anything in front of the others if it turns out not to be. However, it’s coming from about 30 light-years from here.”

“That’s two weeks out of our journey, isn’t it?”

“No, Captain, it’s actually along the path we’re taking now. That’s part of the reason I want to speak with you in private. If you want to, you could keep this from the crew.”

Janeway shook her head decisively. “No, I won’t keep this from them. This crew believes that we abandoned our technical officer on that planet. Tuvok has too many friends and colleagues to allow them to think we’ve left him behind. I’ll make an announcement. This just makes it easier because there or not, we’ve not taken time out from our journey. I will allow them to have hope that he’s out there somewhere. Prepare the message for me, I’ll read it to them when I make my announcement.”

“Yes, Captain.”


	6. No More

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tuvok finally begs and Voyager is on the trail.

Despite Tuvok’s incredible resistance to pain, even he had a breaking point. The first time he every begged it to the stop was during another cold treatment. The temperature lowered beyond his ability to cope.

“No more.”

The words were hardly more than a desperate whisper. Despite that, he knew that Kell’an would hear it anyway. Almost immediately, the temperature began to rise. Tuvok didn’t know if that was because Kell’an had capitulated to his begging or if it was just the end to this particular exercise.

Either way, he was terrified about what would happen when Kell’an returned to the room. He closed his eyes and focused on his breathing. He didn’t bother opening them when the alien returned and began to open the cage he was in.

“You know, I’m almost disappointed. You were doing so well, not begging, taking everything that I threw at you. Despite that, I’m still quite proud of you. You made it much further than any of my other experiments. Plus, this is the first time I’ve ever heard you beg for me to stop it. Most start with the first torture. Not you, though. You are absolutely exquisite. Very impressive. Back to the wall with you. I’ll return once I’ve made my final rounds, and you can have something eat. Have to keep your strength up.”

Tuvok watched as Kell’an left the room again, cheerful and upbeat. He rested his head against the wall and sighed. He was desperately hoping that the Voyager had found and understood his message. However, even if they had, they might have still be far away. It could be that they wouldn’t reach his location for weeks or months. Especially if Kell’an’s ship could move faster than their own.

That had seemed the case during his occasional moments of lucidity during the trip. They had moved out of the system they were in and towards their current position so fast that Tuvok didn’t recognize the stars around them. He always made sure to scan and memorize the upcoming areas as far out as possible. The fact that he didn’t recognize the space he was in at all was telling.

Although it actually boded well. It meant that they hadn’t traveled in the opposite direction of Voyager’s course. With how sparsely populated this part of space was, they were most likely to have continued in approximately the same path that Voyager would. It might mean that his message would be received later, if not Today. That would be fine with Tuvok. As long as they knew where he was, he could believe that they would come to get him.

Although perhaps they wouldn’t. It might be more effort and life than he was worth. The Captain might choose to continue on rather than mount a rescue attempt. She might not want to risk more crewmates for a single member.

Tuvok decided that that might be the best option available. He didn’t want his crew to lose their lives over him. Especially since he wasn’t that well-liked or respected anyway. Tuvok felt that he might have made a rash decision when it came to sending the message. If he hadn’t, there would be little to no chance of them finding where he was. That would optimize the likelihood that they wouldn’t ever locate him, try to rescue him, and incur possible loss of life.

Tuvok sighed and silently chastised himself. He was 120 years old; he _was_ not a young, impetuous Vulcan. He did know better. He should not have left that message buoy. He should have calculated possible crew loss of life against his own loss of life and chosen not to allow them to risk themselves.

Tuvok knew that the incorrect decision was in part because of the pain being inflicted on him. His thoughts weren’t as clear as they would be without it. As he was in an immense amount of pain on a fairly regular basis, it was causing his logic to break down. Tuvok resolved to not allow it to happen again. It was sensible for humans to act brash and emotional, to think of themselves. It was not for Vulcans.

It would not happen again.

“Crew of Voyager, I have a vital message for the entirety of you. As you all know, a few days ago, Lt. Commander Tuvok was taken while on an away mission. After scanning the whole of the planet, we discovered there were no Vulcan life signs. We believed that he had been moved off the world. Following what we thought would be his wishes, we continued on our path home. Despite moving on, I still held hope that we would discover signs of him along our route.

“Today, we have discovered a message we believe he sent. It was encoded in Starfleet binary and held his clearance code. Therefore, we are pursuing this lead. I will note that it is almost directly in our path home. There will be little to no change in our mission home. However, whoever took Tuvok displayed advanced technology, more advanced than ours. Therefore, we run a high risk of running into a species we can’t beat in battle and might be risking our lives.

“I will not make this decision unilaterally. If you believe that we shouldn’t pursue this lead, I want you to speak up right now.” Janeway listened to see for any dissenting voices. There wasn’t a single one. She closed her eyes, overwhelmed by the pride her crew made her feel.

“I take your silence as the belief we should go after him. While on our way there, we will do everything in our power to make the ship ready to meet up with a more technically capable species. The single came from about 30 lightyears away. That gives us about two weeks to prepare as much as possible. Should any of you change your mind in those two weeks, you have my permission to speak frankly with me. You will soon be receiving orders on making our ship as ready as possible for a possible confrontation. Janeway out.”


	7. Enemy to Caretaker

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An accident has Kell'an taking care of Tuvok.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't even know. I barely read these before I post them I have no clue if they're good or not but it's good practice so I'll keep posting.

Kell'an entered Tuvok's cell clutching his new knife. Tuvok looked up warily and watched him cross the room.

"Hello, lovely. Time to start the day. I have something new to try on you today. You weather a lot of physical pain very well. However, it was the cold that originally broke you. I think that a little bit of nerve pain goes a long way. I want to see you beg for mercy from me. Let's begin, up we get."

He took Tuvok's shackles and moved them to the hook on the ceiling, winching him up. Tuvok gasped as he was forced upright again. His feet dangled just above the floor. Kell'an patted him condescendingly on the cheek.

"This is a Vibro-blade. It emits a small level of electricity. It has the unique property of causing extra sting to cuts. Let's begin."

Kell’an started with Tuvok's arms, just above the wrist. He gently sliced a shallow cut upward. Tuvok breathed heavily through his nose, and Kell'an watched his reactions carefully. He scored another matching one on the other arm.

Tuvok gritted his teeth and focused on breathing. He would not allow this psycho to get the best of him. he continued to endure, even when Kell’an switched to making marks on his sensitive chest. When Kell’an drew the knife low towards his side, by his heart.

Tuvok couldn't help the urge to try and move his vulnerable heart away from the threat.

Kell'an realized a moment too late what was happening. The movement had been just enough to swing Tuvok's body and before he could pull it back. Kell’an was able to alter the knife's course, so it didn't slip directly into Tuvok's heart, but instead just to the left of it. Tuvok coughed desperately at the feeling, and Kell’an made an unhappy desperate sound.

"Oh no, this isn't right. No, no, no, no, no, no, just wait right here. I'm going to get you all fixed up." Kell’an eased Tuvok to the ground and sat him against the wall. He brushed a hand along Tuvok's cheek gently.

He rushed out of the room and was back only a few moments later, mumbling to himself. "Oh, my precious thing, I didn't mean to crack you. Oh, dear. Just hold on a bit of regenerator, and we'll be good to go. You should know better than to move when I'm holding something sharp to you."

Tuvok looked up at him with a raised eyebrow. "I am well aware of what I shouldn't do. However, instincts regarding my heart are hard to ignore. You were too close for comfort, and my body reacted on its own. If you truly want to keep from killing me accidentally, you have to do things that don’t affect my instincts that way. It’s my _heart_.”

“And what a lovely one it is too. I suppose you’re right, though. You are the first promising subject I’ve had in years; I don’t want to kill you accidentally. I might kill you in the future, but it will most definitely be on purpose, quick and painless.”

“You would kill a man painlessly but endlessly torture me until you get what you want from me?”

“You are not a man. You are a test subject. Once you are done being a test subject, you will go back to being a man. Until that point, you are nothing but an experiment I don’t want to end too soon. There, that should keep you from bleeding to death. Although it is going to hurt for a few days. Extra food and water, I think. That should help get you up to scratch. Then we can go back to what we were doing. Poor thing, that was just bad luck and poor judgment on my part.”

Kell’an rubbed his hand along Tuvok’s cheek and cooed lightly at him. He gave several more motions that he probably thought were comforting and then left.

Tuvok was left alone with an aching side and the knowledge that he had nearly died because of his own inability to control his body. Although it couldn’t really be blamed on him, Tuvok knew that it was important for his survival to not let it happen again. Obviously, Kell’an wasn’t nearly as careful as he originally thought. That might be a good thing.

Captain Janeway stared at her report, unable to focus on what she should be reading. She knew it was important to have the ship where it needed to be. If it wasn’t, they wouldn’t be able to help Tuvok out of whatever had was in.

Despite that, her mind refused to leave the topic of her Tactical Officer. He had been her confidante for a very long time. He had originally mentored her at the academy and then continued to be her friend as she became his Captain. He had always looked after and done right by her, even when that was nearly impossible to do.

Now it felt like she was failing him in return. They were pursuing, but slowly. They were still so far out from the planet, and he might be gone before they reached there. More than that, she wondered about the situation that had pushed him to put out the beacon.

If he hadn’t been in immediate danger, there would’ve been more information than just his location. If he felt like he was leading the crew into a trap, he would’ve said that in his message. Or, most likely, refused to send the message at all.

Tuvok had shown several times in his long career that although he would refuse to allow crewmates to sacrifice each other or themselves for others, he had no such qualms about himself. Despite being a Vulcan, there was something definitively human about that. About insisting that no one was allowed to die for another because all life is equal. Yet always being the one to step in and assume the danger.

That might be why this entire thing had affected her so much. Tuvok hadn’t stepped in and chosen to put himself in danger. He had been taken from them, plucked like he was a gem from a vault. She didn’t like it when people touched her things and absolutely hated it when people got rough with _her_ crew.

She would not stand for it.


	8. Isolation

The incident with the knife rattled Tuvok badly. Kell’an had always demonstrated that he wasn’t planning on killing Tuvok until much later. However, somehow it had never occurred to Tuvok that it might be an accident. Kell’an was so skilled with his torture implements and only caused pain, not severe damage.

 _“The knife must’ve been new to him.”_ Tuvok thought. It might be because no one had been up to Kell’an’s exacting standards before him. He might only now have the ability to branch out into other more complicated implements. That was either going to be a very good thing or a very bad thing for Tuvok.

It still had yet to be seen, which it was, though.

Kell’an had told him that after he was fixed up, they wouldn’t be seeing each other for a few days. Tuvok had tilted his head in question, and the alien had explained that Tuvok would need plenty of time to heal from an injury that severe. Then he had been moved to a different cell.

This one included facilities, which Tuvok was thankful for. It also came with a plastic cup so he could drink water whenever he wanted. It was a massive step up from his former cell, which had nothing but the chains that kept him shackled to the wall.

Despite that, there was something about this cell that was beginning to wear on him. It was dead silent all the time. There was no social interaction and very little physical interaction for him. At least when Tuvok was being tortured, he was interacting with Kell’an. Now, he was all alone all of the time.

It was honestly wearing on him more than the pain had been.

Vulcans weren’t by nature, very sociable people. However, they still formed deep connections with the people around them. Particularly their family and coworkers. For the trip home, Tuvok had been deprived of his wife and children. He had the crew to help make up some of it. The Captain was almost family, and he had several coworkers he was on amenable terms with.

He absentmindedly wondered if Harry Kim had given up Kal-Toh or found another partner. During one of their many games, the Ensign had mentioned that he didn’t like playing it alone. That what made the game stimulating and interesting was his interactions with Tuvok.

Tuvok had been perplexed by this. They had very little in common, had spent a fair bit of time at odds with each other and the rest with little to no interaction. He had questioned the Ensign about it. Harry Kim had shrugged lightly and said that was part of the reason it was so interesting. They had very little in common, so when they talked, it was about things he didn’t have a great deal of knowledge of. That it was _fun_ to get a surface level introduction to a variety of subjects.

Tuvok broke from his thoughts for a moment and admitted that he had become soft in the last few years. The constant work and social interaction meant that he scrambled for time alone. He had not been through a serious period of isolation since he had ended his emotion purging studies.

He had forgotten that it allowed for deep calm and the dismissal of stubborn emotions. He was finding that now he was adjusting that it was as though he were on Vulcan again. Although, that was mildly bothersome as he didn’t know the ramifications or even the timeline for when Kell’an would return.

It could do more harm than good. Tuvok considered this and dismissed it. The chance of it being grounding and allowing him to deal better was more than enough reason to continue.

He continued his introspection of what Harry Kim had deemed their “friendship” curious about if he could have a deeper understanding of it. He wasn’t only perplexed by the Ensign’s enjoyment of what they were doing, but also of his own fulfillment when it came to it.

He couldn’t understand why engaging in Kal-Toh with a partner was more fulfilling than alone. It should’ve had an equal impact as playing alone. Yet, it was more stimulating to play with a partner. Tuvok’s mind drifted to his other crewmates.

Chakotay closed his eyes and focused on his prayers. For a brief moment, he had clarity, and then it was gone. He didn’t know why Tuvok’s disappearance seemed to weigh so heavily on his mind. They weren’t friends and had spent much of the journey barely civil to each other. Chakotay just couldn’t seem to get past the perceived betrayal from Tuvok.

Yet, there was something incredibly wrong about not having him on the bridge. Not having him suffer Neelix’s endless bouts of energy and infinite belief, they were friends. It unsettled Chakotay more than he realized, and he was having a hard time praying to his ancestors.

Chakotay’s thoughts drifted to his time with Captain Janeway on the planet. He had believed they would never find a cure. However, a few weeks into their stay, Voyager had returned from one. Apparently, Tuvok had gone against regulation and sought the medicine from the Vidiians. Chakotay knew that it was at the behest of the crew.

However, it had ultimately been Tuvok’s decision. He had chosen to trust his crew and pursue an unsure chance of retrieving a cure for the disease.

Even though Chakotay had believed he could’ve lived there happily with Kathryn, he still liked being back on Voyager. Especially since they were drawing closer to home every single day. They had already had a large push forward, and who knew how many more they would get in the future. He could very well see his home and family again.

That was all due to a man who normally valued regulation above all else. It seemed that Tuvok was willing to toss regulation out of the airlock if it meant saving people his crew. It was a very human attribute that Chakotay might very well need to tease him about the next time they saw each other. If they saw each other.


	9. Take Me Instead

Tuvok had naively believed that he was Kell’an’s only torture victim. The alien spent a substantial amount of time with him every single day. Adding in sleep and work, there shouldn’t have been any time left over.

That turned out not to be the case.

Kell’an had dragged a bedraggled looking alien, a different species from him, into Tuvok’s cell. He had thrown down the small, slender creature and then grinned at each of them in turn.

“I want my two best subjects to meet and get along. Now, I have some errands to run, but I will be back. We can have some double sessions. Won’t that just be the most fun you’ve ever had in your entire life? Right, off I go.”

Tuvok knelt next to the creature and helped them sit up. They looked at him and sniffed lightly.

“Thank you,” They said. “I had believed I was the only one; it saddens me to know he holds more than just me in this place. I am Reinchaln. Who are you?”

“I am Tuvok. How did you come to this place?”

“I was on a mission surveying a planet. I moved a little too far away from my group, and the next thing I knew, I was waking up here his captive. I am very worried; my mate will be waiting for me. They will be desperately concerned. I must return to them. We have 3 children together. Do you have children?”

Tuvok nodded. “Yes. I have four, but they are a long way away from here, in another quadrant. I will attempt to help you return to your family. There has to be a way out of this place.”

“If I could get to the surface, I can get away. I was taken by surprise by if I get above ground, I can fly from this place. Oh, but I don’t know about you. I’m not strong enough to carry you.”

“It doesn’t matter. I can find my own way out. It will be easier if you are already away. I won’t have to worry about you while trying to escape.”

They looked at him suspiciously but didn’t have much room to argue. “Once I am far enough away, I’m sure I’ll be able to get a ship and fly back to my people. It won’t take too long. These ships are very fast.”

“A sensible plan. We must hurry and do it now. It will be harder for you to escape if he comes back and tortures you more. You might be too weak to fly.”

“Alright, can you get your shackles off?”

Tuvok nodded and set to work, focusing solely on the one that connected him to the wall. That would be the fastest route. It took a lot of precious time, but eventually, they got through the chains. Compared to the bindings, the door was child’s play.

They tore up the hallway in the direction Tuvok had seen on the internal map about where to go. The ascended the levels slowly. It seemed to take an eternity to reach the top. When they did, Tuvok finally got a good look at where they were being kept. He didn’t recognize the planet, but he knew that it didn’t matter much. He turned to Reinchaln.

“You must hurry. It will only be a few minutes before he has discovered we are missing. Let me look at your collar. If I can get it off, then you’ll be able to fly out of here without any issues.”

“Thank you, thank you! I don’t know what would’ve happened to me if I remained there. Tell me, there must be something I can do for you. This is too great a debt to not have any payment on. There must be something.”

Tuvok worked at the collar and thought carefully. The facility was likely only manned by Kell’an himself. There was a distinct possibility that if the Voyager crew did find him, they would rescue him without incurring any losses. If they hadn’t gotten his buoy, then perhaps Reinchaln was the person to tell them where he was being held. He had no easy way of escaping the way that they did. He was winged. A satisfying click sounded, and the collar came off. It would’ve been much harder on his own, but Tuvok was glad to see that it was possible to easily get one off.

“There is only a single thing you can do for me. In your travels home, you might encounter a ship called the Federation Starship Voyager. That is my crew, and I believe they are looking for me. If you could pass on my location and some of my circumstances, they might have an easier time finding me.”

Reinchaln nodded enthusiastically. “I shall do so if I meet with them. It seems a paltry thank you, but it is all I can offer. May you find your way home to the places of your children.”

Tuvok nodded and watched as they stretched their wings and took flight. It occurred to him that this might be a good chance to see if he could escape himself but knew that he had little to no time. He made sure to take a good hard look around at his surroundings, memorizing layouts, and was about to move when the collar activated.

He arched in agony, and this time it lasted much longer than each of the previous times. When he could reopen his eyes, he looked up to see Kell’an standing over, an angry look on his face. He looked ready to pursue Reinchaln.

“No! Take me instead. You don’t need them. You have me.”

“That was an admirable and self-sacrificing thing to do. Believe me, pretty thing, it most definitely was self-sacrificing. You are going to live to regret letting the other subject get away. When I am done with you, you are going to beg to die. I’m not going to let you, though. All of that time and energy retrieving that samples gone in a few minutes. You work incredibly fast, darling, but I work even faster. This is the last chance you’ll get to see the sunlight.”


	10. Blood Loss

“Bloodletting has always fascinated me. Did you know that? There is something deeply intriguing about a medical technique that actually weakens the body. One that makes it harder to fight illness, recovery for injury, or in my practice, deal with pain. Your body just doesn’t have the resources to expand on something like dealing with pain. It’s just fascinating to me.”

Tuvok’s eyes were clenched tight, and his breaths came in ragged sobs. Each of his arms held small cuts where blood had spilled out. It ran down them and dripped into his eyes, stinging every time it hit. His position of being bound to the ceiling was optimal for limiting how much blood was lost but allowing enough to make him absolutely miserable.

Kell’an stroked his cheek gently. Tuvok believed it was a method to force your mind to focus on the horrible pain being wreaked on your body. A counterpoint to make you realize the torture inflicted upon your nerves.

He was having a hard time ignoring this particular trick.

He usually ignored it because he didn’t care for physical contact. He didn’t want it from his crew, let alone a madman. This session, though, the blood loss clouded his mind. Distracted him from techniques he usually used to help mentally distance himself from what was happening.

It seemed Kell’an was trying to make good on his promise about making Tuvok want death. Kell’an reached up and pressed on the wounds, forcing more blood to run out. Tuvok was nearly coated in his own blood at this point. It ran down his arms into his face and chest, some making it as far as his legs before it dried.

They had been at this for nearly 3 hours, the steady blood loss hadn’t initially bothered him. Now, he was reaching the point where it was making him nauseous. His arms trembled from where they were bound above him, and he had begun to lose feeling in them. His feet were once again suspended over where he couldn’t touch the ground.

Kell’an narrowed his eyes. “I must say, as angry with you as I am over my other subject, I’m still impressed. You are doing an amazing job. Normally the pain and blood loss is enough to make men beg for their lives. Not you though, you truly are an unbelievable specimen. Why did you let them go?” Kell’an pressed a hot piece of metal to Tuvok’s side, the one without his heart, as he asked.

Tuvok breathed deep and spoke. “They didn’t deserve to lose their life to a madman. They had a mate and children they deserved to return to. It was better for you to take me instead.”

“If I remember correctly, you also have a wife and children in another quadrant. You also have a Captain and a crew that rely on you. You could’ve used them as a distraction to get away. Obviously, you can remove the collars. Yet, you chose to allow them to leave while you remained behind as my test subject.”

“I would never have sacrificed another to save my life. I will escape here, and when I do, it will be with a completely clean conscience. No other will be taking my place, I can guarantee it.”

“Such passion. Let’s see how you hold up to more torture and blood loss. I have to say you look exquisite painted in your own blood. It’s such a pretty green against your dark skin. I imagine with your physical strength that you don’t see it very often. That’s alright, this is going to make up for it. I want to see you coated in your own blood.”

He pressed on the other, watching the sluggish bleed speed up. Another press of the burner and Tuvok was gasping in desperation. So far, only the cold had made him beg for it to stop. He was able to rise above physical pain well. Not this time, though.

“Stop! Please stop! I can’t take any more of this.”

“Alright, but only because you begged so prettily for me. You are almost coated in your blood anyway. It is an extremely satisfying sight. You truly are a beautiful thing.”

“Captain, we’re being hailed by the ship.”

Janeway gestured to the screen. “Open a channel. This is Captain Kathryn Janeway of the Federation Starship Voyager.”

An alien appeared on the screen. “I am Reinchaln. I have a crucial message. Tuvok is a member of your crew, isn’t he?”

Janeway sat up and took notice. “Yes, he is. Do you have information on his whereabouts?”

“Yes. I met him a few days ago. We had both been taken by the same person. He helped me escape and wanted me to pass on his location to you. He figured it might be hard for you to find the facility he is in, even if you know the planet. We were held very deep underground. I was only there for a few days, but…”

“But what? What was happening to you? What’s happening to him now?”

“The being that took us was set on torturing us until we broke. He said that he was looking for the perfect specimen against torture. I was able to escape because I can fly. He insisted that he would be fine if he stayed behind. I wanted to go back, but I have 3 children. They and my mate need me.”

Janeway held up a hand to forestall the rest of his reasoning. “I understand why you did it. It’s a good thing tool you can hopefully give us a location and some information on where he’s being kept. That is more than we had without you. Please wait for a few moments. We can transport you here. That way, we can have the coordinates and anything else you can tell us.”

“Yes, Captain. Anything I can do to help free him from that madman.”

The transmission ended, and Janeway sighed. Suddenly she felt very old. This information would be what they needed to rescue Tuvok successfully. However, it came with the knowledge that he was currently being tortured. 


	11. Defiance

This time when Kell’an came for him, Tuvok fought. He wasn’t fully recovered from the bloodletting, but he was tired of just allowing the man to torture him. Even if it was in vain, he needed to fight back. He needed to prove to himself above all else that he wasn’t broken. That when Voyager came for him, that he would be willing to fight his way out.

The willingness didn’t make his efforts any more effective.

Kell’an had indulged him for a few minutes. Letting him attempt to land blows on his unfamiliar musculature. Once he had grown tired of the game, he turned on the shock collar.

Tuvok fought through the sensation, though. He had been shocked a lot during his incarceration. His body was adjusting to the feeling of electricity coursing through him and allowing his mind to overcome the sensations. With enough practice, he would be able to ignore it completely. That would be the most significant asset when it came to his escape.

Right now, the only thing that was really keeping him there was the shock collar.

That didn’t make the experience of being shocked any more pleasant, but it gave him confidence in his plan to escape. Although, it included the dubious step of being electrocuted as many times as Kell’an would in as short a period. The more he was shocked, the faster his body would adjust.

Kell’an watched in admiration as he fought the sensations until he gave in to the pain. Then he collapsed limply on the floor and was forced to allow Kell’an to hoist him back up. He had brought back the burning device along with a knife. This time, he bound Tuvok’s ankles to the floor to keep his movements to a minimum. He might be a psycho, but he wasn’t stupid. He would not make the same mistake twice.

“You know, darling, I think I know why you wanted to get rid of my other subject. You can pretend it was altruism if you want, but I know it was jealousy. You were jealous that I was spending my time with another object. Don’t worry, you are my main experiment, and you will be until we reach a conclusion. I can see why you would get upset, though. I do spend most of my time here with you. You didn’t want to risk losing me to someone else. It’s alright, I forgive you.”

“You may believe whatever you want. However, I released Reinchaln because it was the right thing to do. They had a mate and children that depended on them. They did not deserve to be tortured and murdered by anyone, least of all you. It was within my power to grant them freedom. You may choose to believe that it was out of jealously, but I will assure you, it was not.”

Kell’an picked up the knife and traced the tip of it up Tuvok’s chest. He wasn’t cutting yet, just gently threatening. “Of course, darling. All altruistic. In my experience, though, people rarely do things for nothing in return. Especially when those creatures are being subjected to horrible standards. That particular experiment didn’t turn out the way I had planned. I had thought you would use him as a distraction to try and get away yourself.”

Tuvok’s head shot up. “You planned it?”

“Of course, I planned it. Didn’t it all seem just a little too convenient to you? The doors being easy enough to open, the escape to the outside world as easy as breathing. I had assumed one thing, then when you did something else, I was surprised and furious. There you were, defying my expectations of selfishness inherent in all creatures. Now I see why you did it, though.”

“Vulcans are not selfish. They always believe in placing the needs of the many over the needs of the few or the one. They had a family that relied on them to return to. My family is thousands of light-years away and will survive even if I don’t return. Their needs very clearly took precedence over mine. That is why I let them go.”

“Such strong convictions you Vulcans have. I can’t wait to test them even further.”

Tom Paris knew that next to the Captain and possibly Neelix, he was the first person to truly warm up to Tuvok. His dedication to justice and willingness to believe that Tom was innocent until proven guilty appealed to him greatly. He had worked hard to improve himself from the man that had ended up in that penal colony, and he was glad to see that at least one person was willing to believe he had actually changed.

Although Tuvok had given him the line about “truth” and acting completely bipartisan, his willingness had said otherwise. Tom had met Vulcans before. If Tuvok had genuinely believed that he was the one who had done it, he would’ve done a cursory investigation and nothing else. Instead, Tuvok had dug at the truth until it had come out. Saving Tom’s life and sanity in the process.

That wasn’t something he was willing to forget. Nor was he ready to forget Tuvok bending to the crew’s wishes even though he had been right about the Vidiians attacking them. The crew had said they were willing to take the risk for the Captain and Chakotay, and Tuvok had allowed them to find them.

Tom had been one of the loudest protestors when it came to leaving the system that Tuvok had disappeared in. He didn’t think it fair that they were leaving him behind when he had done so much for every single one of their crew members.

The Captain had insisted that it would be what he would’ve wanted, and Tom had known she was right. That’s why he had been so enthusiastic when they had picked up Tuvok’s message buoy. His heart had leaped into his throat when the Captain mentioned people dissenting. There had been no voices, though. It made Tom’s heart swell with pride over his crew. That even the ones that didn’t like Tuvok were willing to risk their lives to see him back on their ship.


	12. Broken Down

The days that Tuvok was forced to beg for it to stop were the worst. When the temperature in his cell was lowered to the point where he couldn’t stand it. Or when the blood loss made the pain impossible to deal with.

It only proved that Kell’an really did know what he was doing.

The begging did more than just humiliate him. It forced Tuvok to admit that he couldn’t deal with it. That he wasn’t able to overcome the pain coursing through his body and tormenting his waking hours. It made him feel like he was less of a person, just an object to be toyed with and set aside when Kell’an was finished with him.

It broke down each of his carefully constructed barriers and forced him to admit that he might not escape this situation. It wore down his mind and his perseverance. Tuvok had known from the beginning that his well of calm and ability to overcome wouldn’t last forever.

He just hadn’t realized that it would run out so quickly. Tuvok wasn’t sure how much time had passed. At least a week for sure. Likely more because he spent a lot of time passed out and unaware of how much time was passing. It seemed like a paltry amount of time to give in.

Tuvok’s walls were crumbling, though. Every moment he spent here, the more his mind seemed to slip from his control. For the first time since he had melded with Mr. Sudor and absorbed his emotions, Tuvok felt out of control.

He was breaking down, and there was nothing he could do about it.

Kell’an took great delight in this. “Oh, you are finally reaching your first milestone. I can’t believe how long you’ve held out. Some of my experiment’s walls break with the first session. They crumble into dust right in front of me. You’ve held out longer than most of them combined—the longest I’ve ever seen. You are doing an admirable job, and if you keep up, you might prove to be precisely what I am looking for.”

Tuvok closed his eyes and did his best to block the words out. Just because he couldn’t conquer the pain from this session, that didn’t mean he couldn’t reign himself back in. It would take a lot of effort, but he would not allow this to be his complete undoing. It may be playing right into Kell’an’s hands, but he didn’t care.

This might break him, but it wasn’t going to conquer him.

He held onto that thought. He thought of the thousands of stories he had read about heroes that survived situations like these. Abandoned and almost entirely without hope. Their spirits had been broken. Somehow, they had pulled themselves back together later.

Tuvok knew that he could survive this. Even if it meant losing his dignity and honor. Even if it meant breaking down and giving in to the torture he had so violently defied before. He was a survivor; he would survive this. Some things couldn’t be broken, no matter how hard someone tried.

Tuvok almost wished that he had more experience with emotions. Humans had the unparalleled ability to survive situations with their spirits intact. The Maquis had faced unimaginable odds and continued to stay and fight. Tom Paris had seen the inside of a penal colony and forced himself to become better. Seven had spent most of her life as a borg. She had pushed through the initial confusion and feeling of loss and helped herself become a loyal member of the crew. Everyone single one of them had seen and experienced horrible things in the Delta Quadrant. However, they continued forward on their mission to get home.

If they were on their way here to rescue him, he needed to be ready. Tuvok would not allow Kell’an to break him to the point where he was useless. There was a fine line between breaking down and being utterly broken.

Tuvok knew he was treading it. He would not break in the face of it. Kell’an could pull all of his tricks. Force him to beg, plead and cry out. It would never be enough to stop him from escaping this world. Tuvok held onto that thought even as he felt his body and mind begin to give in.

He had already cried out once today. Another cold treatment had left him in unbearable pain. Then he had shocked him several times. Each of them was likely punishment for releasing Reinchaln. By the end of it, Tuvok knew that he had to give in. This was it.

Tears dripped from his eyes, and for the first time since he had arrived, he curled into himself. It was a childish thing to do and a mark of giving up. Tuvok didn’t know what else to do. He could not bear any more pain, or he was going to pass out. He couldn’t escape the situation. All he could do was curl away from Kell’an.

Kell’an gave a happy sigh. “You are at your breaking point. Now, we are going to push you just past it. when you break, and you will break today, you are going to be exquisite.”

He pressed the burning metal against the side with his heart, and Tuvok shattered.

It was almost enough for him to imagine pieces of himself on the floor. He curled tighter and sobbed against the pain. He didn’t have the emotional capacity for anger or grief or fear; Vulcan’s didn’t come with that. All he could feel was emptiness. As though even the faint emotions he couldn’t squash had been forced outside of him.

It was not a feeling he enjoyed.

Kell’an watched in glee as he shattered. His eyes tracing up and down Tuvok’s prone body. He didn’t want to forget a single moment of this triumph over his subject. Soon, Tuvok’s sobs quieted, and Kell’an knew that any more would be dangerous to his life. He got up, gathered his implements, and left the room quietly. He didn’t bother to chain Tuvok up. Once they reached this point, they didn’t have the will to escape anymore.


	13. Chemical Pneumonia

Tuvok wasn’t sure if it had been an accident or not. All he knew was that chemicals had seeped underneath the door to his cell. The circulated air forced him to breathe in the deadly concoction. Tuvok had faith that it wasn’t going to kill him. Even if deadly Kell’an would stop it before it got to that point. That didn’t mean he wasn’t going to spend the next few days in agony.

He had had chemical pneumonia before. Several times on ships, including Voyager, when conduits exploded, and he had inhaled toxic chemicals. Once he had waited 3 days for treatment, the other more severe injuries had taken precedence. It had not been a pleasant 3 days, but he had survived.

This time Tuvok didn’t even have the energy to try and move away from the chemicals seeping in.

He had known exactly what he was dealing with when he had begun to cough. It was a severe dry cough. The kind that left you without the ability to speak for days and often came with blood flecking your lips. He breathed carefully, trying not to breathe too deeply. Although it seemed counterproductive, without any medical treatment in sight, he had to be careful. A cough that wouldn’t stop might leave him gasping for air and writhing on the ground.

He continued to take careful breaths and attempted to ignore the pounding in his head. He was starting to get dizzy and knew he should try and move away from the contaminated air. He just hurt so badly that it was hard to make his body do as it should.

The chemicals continued to enter his cell. He could feel a tight pain in his chest starting to build, and even without the cough, his mouth and throat were starting to burn.

Tuvok spared a thought that if Kell’an was out of the facility, he might die here before realizing what was happening. Then he began to mentally chastise himself. Kell’an was neurotic about the things he even let near the cell door. He wouldn’t allow random chemicals to be spilled into the place. He wasn’t stupid.

This was most definitely on purpose.

Tuvok held off from coughing as long as he could. Before long, though, the urge became too much to resist, and he gave in. It was dry and ragged and did, in fact, come with flecks of blood. Tuvok took deep breaths between each bit of coughing, trying to keep his breath about him.

He managed to quell the worst of the hacking and finally had the energy to do something about his position. He stood from where he was against the wall and moved towards the back of the cell. He was near where Kell’an liked to tie him up, but it was easier to breathe here. There were fewer chemicals, and the air was less likely to poison him.

Some of his symptoms let up to. The tightness in his chest faded, and he slumped against the farthest wall he could. He watched the chemicals spill inward for a few minutes. After a while, they stopped. The puddle was still there, but it wasn’t growing any larger. The door opening startled him. Kell’an was holding a sonic cleaner and wearing a mask over his mouth.

“Terribly sorry about this little old thing. You know how these spills just get out of control sometimes. I hope you didn’t inhale any of these nasty chemicals. You could be in serious trouble.”

Tuvok just looked at him with his eyes narrowed. He figured that the heavy cough was telling enough and didn’t say a word. Kell’an looked disappointed that he wasn’t engaging the way he should be. Tuvok didn’t have the energy to expend on his verbal foreplay. His lungs were getting battered more and more over his time here. Tuvok felt confident that if anything was to go that it was going to be those.

Kell’an gave a put-upon sigh and approached him with another device in his hands. Tuvok assumed it was a medical device and desperately hoped it would help him deal with the pain he had in his chest. If it didn’t, he was going to be coughing for hours.

Seven had been helping with the preparations for a future, possible battle. Although she was new to how grief made her feel, she had no doubts that’s what it was. Tuvok had been the only person who had initially felt no antipathy towards her. His mind was unclouded by distracting human emotions, and he saw her as merely another addition to the crew. In his mind, she was an asset because of her ability to assist with the ship.

He had also been the only one to remain aware of the danger she possessed. After the crew had adjusted, they had often been too complacent. Allowing her openings to do things that she might have later regrated. That’s if the Borg programming would’ve allowed.

He made sure that there were no chances for her to contact the Borg, before and after they left Borg space. It was both a welcome assurance that he would never allow her to betray her ship and a comfort. To know that one crew member saw her as she truly was, a dangerous former Borg, but didn’t assume that made her likely to turn on them.

She had begun to grieve when they hadn’t located him on the planet he had disappeared. In her experience as a Borg and a person, when you couldn’t find someone in a place that was impossible to hide in, they were usually gone.

She had continued to complete her job as optimally as possible. However, her thoughts had often lingered on her crewmate. They weren’t “friends” the way many others liked to classify themselves as with her. Nor were they just coworkers. They had mutual respect and admiration. Something calm and straightforward. It allowed them to work together incredibly well.

She didn’t want to lose that when it seemed she had barely gained it.


	14. Branding

“I’ve decided that we need to try something new today. It has occurred to me that you will likely make it out of this place alive. Either by escape or by meeting all of my standards. Therefore, I want you to have something that you will remind you of me for the rest of your life. So, I brought a new toy with me. You’ll be glad to know that I am only going to use it once on you. You are never going to forget what I do with it, though.”

Kell’an removed a long thin rod. At the tip was a flat round piece of metal with some sort of symbol. Tuvok had no idea what it was for. He tilted his head, confused, and gave Kell’an a questioning look.

“Ah, you don’t know what it’s for. You must not keep animals for meat where you’re from. This device is a branding iron. You heat the symbol, and it permanently marks the creature as yours for the rest of its life. It’s to help keep the herds from intermingling and stop arguments about ownership. Your neighbor can’t claim that the animal belongs to them, with your brand on it. Similar principle with you, darling.”

Tuvok breathed deeply, unsure of how to react to this. So far, he had only been exposed to tortures that could be easily healed with modern technology. If he really was branded, and it sat long enough, he would carry the mark for the rest of his life. There was no way to avoid that thought. Tuvok breathed deeply again. He didn’t know if he should fight to try and get away or to stay still and lessen the risk of severe injury.

For the first time since he left the Excelsior, he had a moment of pure indecision. He was caught, as the humans like to say, between a rock and a hard place. Kell’an took delight in how unsettled he really was. Tuvok knew that he would have to bear this as he had all of the other tortures. It was just another head game to force Tuvok into believing he wasn’t a person and deserved this. However, Tuvok would not allow himself to ever think that.

He watched stalwartly as Kell’an winched him back into position. Hands above, ankles bound and completely immobile for whatever he had planned. Kell’an examined him with a careful eye. He was trying to decide the perfect place to leave his permanent mark.

Kell’an didn’t do this with all of his experiments. Only the ones he grew genuinely attached to and did very well in his trials. The others weren’t worth the effort of heating the brand. Tuvok though, Tuvok might just turn out to be the only living soul that carried Kell’an’s mark, and he was desperate to put it on him.

With Tuvok in place, he began to see to the branding preparations. Before it was heated, he made sure to sterilize it. He traced along Tuvok’s body with a keen and careful eye. He hemmed and hawed over several places but finally made his decision. It would be covered by clothing, but anyone that saw Tuvok without his shirt would lay eyes on it.

That would include Tuvok’s wife.

He pressed gently against the spot. It was on the back of his ribcage on the left side. It would be agonizingly painful to receive. That particular area was filled with nerves. It would also leave an absolutely beautiful scar, and Kell’an couldn’t wait to see it after it had healed some. Finally, he would have something that would mark Tuvok as his and his alone.

He carefully marked the area out in pen, wanting to make sure the placement was absolutely perfect. Then he picked up the brand and began the heating process. It would take several minutes to get it to the right temperature. You had to make sure it was hot enough that hit would brand and cauterize all at once. Otherwise, it would just burn the skin and leave an indistinguishable mark. He waited with patience, humming lightly as he watched it heat.

For the first time in a while, Kell’an wasn’t speaking. Tuvok didn’t know if it was because he had nothing to say or if he was attempting to commit this entire experience to memory. Or if it was something utterly mundane like he needed to focus on the brand to make sure it was done correctly. Either way, Tuvok wasn’t willing to break the silence. He was drawing all of his mental fortitudes to himself. He would not allow this to be the final blow.

Kell’an tested the temperature and, finding it correct, approached him with the brand. Tuvok’s breaths came quicker and more labored. Kell’an pressed his hand to Tuvok’s back, and for a moment, there was only the sound of Tuvok’s heart pounding in his ears.

Then there was nothing but overwhelming agony.

Tuvok’s entire world went dark, but still, the pain followed him. For a few moments, it seemed like he would have the relief of passing out, but that eluded him. All he could do was twist and writhe, attempting to retreat from the sensations that plagued him.

It was no use. Kell’an had done his job in binding Tuvok. He was not getting out of the chains.

His breaths were short and sharp. Each one felt impossible, and just when he felt like he wasn’t going to be able to draw another, his lungs complied. All he could focus on was not suffocating from the pain.

Tuvok never even felt Kell’an sterilize his wound. He was too lost in the mark.

Kell’an gathered up each of his things, including the branding iron, and quietly left the room. He returned a few moments later to let Tuvok down from the ceiling. He helped him to the wall that Tuvok favored for sleeping against and left without a single word.

Tuvok curled into himself, making sure to not put any pressure on the newly created mark. For the first time since he arrived, Tuvok contemplated just not ever moving again.


	15. Science Gone Wrong

“Now that you’ve been marked as mine, I want to tell you a few things about myself, especially about my former experiments. I realized last night that I have been nattering to you all about how you’re different and new and wonderful, but you have no idea how brilliant you are. So, I want to tell you about a few former exploits. Make you see your true value to me.”

Tuvok raised his head and looked at him. He had his back to the wall, and his knees pressed against his chest. The last thing Tuvok wanted to hear was about the other victims that didn’t manage to get away. He didn’t want to think of the people that had been left for dead in his place.

“We will start with my first experiment. The Academy of Science had just turned me down for drug trials on a drug I created. They claimed that the side effects were too severe to justify having a drug like that on the market. I decided that it was best to conduct my own trials on a limited subject base and then present my findings to the Academy. So, I paid for my first subject to be delivered to my lab. Unfortunately, they were weak, and they died two weeks into the trials. Very unfortunate.”

“Did that convince you the drug was too dangerous for the market?”

“No, that would come after my 5th subject died with 3 days of taking it. I decided that they were probably right about the drug. However, I did discover a new field of study-torture and pain. I set out to find the perfect specimen of resistance to pain. You see, my idea was that I would discover what allowed them to deal with it so well. Then I could find a way to market it to soldiers. That way, our men would never give away our secrets.”

Tuvok raised an eyebrow. “What if the technique used in overcoming was something purely genetic. You can teach a soldier to meditate, but that doesn’t mean he will clear his mind and find higher meaning.”

“I had a plan for that too. It’s why I’m so careful with all of my subjects that do very well. Like you, for example. Beyond a few slip-ups, I haven’t even dared to use tortures that work well but are likely to cause severe harm. Once I find what I am looking for, I will isolate the ability and extract if it is genetic or biological. Or learn the technique and teach it to others if it is just a personal attribute.”

“However, no one had been up to your exacting standards.”

Kell’an sighed dramatically. “I started with our own people, but they are the ones that need the most help. Then I moved on to alien races. However, to date, only you have covered each of my standards entirely. At least so far. There are several tests that remain, then, of course, figuring out what makes you resilient. After that, if you survive, you get to leave and go wherever you please. On the plus side, our ships are far superior to yours. You would be able to catch up with your crew. Perhaps even adapt the technology to get home faster.”

“That is very unlikely. We have encountered several civilizations that are more advanced than we are. Their technology has never been compatible with ours. There have simply been too many differences in the way it functions. This is likely because our entire basis of civilizations is so different. The quadrants make it almost impossible to overlap.”

“Still, you would be able to return to your people. Perhaps you aren’t heartened enough by my stories. How about the one that seemed like he was going to go all the way and then didn’t. He was Rigelleinan. Strong and focused, with excellent control over his mind and body. He made it to the point you are now. However, he broke when you have survived.”

“The branding? When you mark your victims as belonging to you and force them to think they are less than a person.”

“Such a clever thing you are to have figured out my plot. You are less than a person, though, and until you complete my trials, you will forever be. I have forced you into being an animal, and the only way to climb back up to sentience is to beat me at my own game. We’ve gotten off track, though. The brand didn’t break his body, but his mind. He simply couldn’t reconcile belonging to someone else.”

Tuvok stared at him. “You have gone so far past the realm of true science that it is hard to believe you still call these experiments. This isn’t even science a step too far. You have entered into a world where the only thing this can possibly resemble is unnecessary pain. Torture only for torture’s sake.”

Kell’an laughed softly. “You have such strong ethics for someone who doesn’t feel emotion. You aren’t feeling sympathy for these people. You aren’t feeling anything at all. Interestingly, you believe very strongly about your ethics without any of the passion behind them. You simply take them as fact. Is that how your people are raised?”

Tuvok thought about this for a moment. Humans had expressed similar confusion in the past. Truthfully, he had only come across this strong ethical belief in one other Vulcan. That had been Captain Spock. Yet, he was half-human and often felt things the way that humans did. Tuvok didn’t know how to explain his ethics to a stranger. He didn’t even know how to explain them to his family.

Despite the lack of emotion behind it, Tuvok did adhere to a rigid ethical belief system. Once that seemed unique to himself. He looked at Kell’an, whose own beliefs had led him to torture and murder other people, and figured that maybe it didn’t need tugging on. That thread could stay where it was if only because it was logical to leave something alone when confronting might cause more danger.


	16. Forced to Beg

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tuvok begs another prisoner to leave.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know what happened in this chapter. I really don't. This was not the plan I had.

Tuvok immediately knew that the day was different. Kell’an had been acting different since he had been branded. He talked to him more, chatted about various parts of his life. He had become more open and began to show affection towards him in odd ways. It seemed that his claim on Tuvok had made him more protective. That and the fact that Tuvok had made it further than any of the others.

Kell’an had been visiting regularly, although it had almost begun to feel perfunctory when he tortured Tuvok. The time that seemed to most satisfy him was when they were talking. Therefore, most of the time, he was almost robotic with his tortures. Using the same ones over and over again in different ways. There was none of the same glee and excitement behind his actions. 

However, this time when he entered, the grin on his face was pure joy. He was dragging someone else behind him. Tuvok knew right off the bat that it was one of Kell’an’s own people. He shared the exact same physical features as Kell’an and even bore a resemblance in the way their scales shown in the light. Tuvok hadn’t met any others yet, but he was confident that Kell’an’s people had no idea what he was doing.

If they did, they either couldn’t find where he was keeping his victims, or he was someplace they couldn’t get to. Being denied by the Science Academy was enough to know that they didn’t approve of his methods or of his research. That was likely why both Tuvok and Reinchaln had been other species than his own. There wouldn’t be Kell’an’s own people looking for them.

Kell’an tossed the being to the ground and smiled at them both. “I have to say that this was an amazing idea. Tuvok, you reacted most strongly when there was another involved. You place the lives of others before your own. So, as part of our own going experiment, the two of you are going to decide. One of you will be tortured. One of you will be blindfolded and let go. You have an hour, get talking.”

Tuvok helped the alien sit up against the wall. “My name is Tuvok.”

“I’m Verant. We need to talk about how and why you are here. First, however, I will be the one that remains. You are the one that needs to leave and go get help.”

Tuvok could immediately see why Kell’an had thrown the two of them together. “I can not in good conscience nor in logical thought, allow you to remain here. You are from this planet, you are aware of the terrain, and you are more likely to remember where we have been taken. More than that, should you seek help, they are more likely to believe one of their own kind rather than a strange alien. Logically, the person who has the best chance of actually retrieving help should be the one to leave. I have been here for a while now. I can assure you that I will survive a while longer. He doesn’t plan to kill me; I cannot say the same for you.”

“No, will not allow you to remain here a moment longer if possible. I am responsible for the safety of people, and I can’t let you remain in an unsafe situation.”

“Please, Verant, you must listen to me. He will not spare you. Kell’an has a plan for me that involves keeping me alive. While I am still around, he will not focus on anyone else. His entire focus is on me. That means that this is all just a head trip against me; you don't even matter to him. He wants to either force me to choose my own freedom over your life or to choose to remain with him. Neither of them are good ideas, but he isn’t going to let me go either way. Please, you need to do this. If you really want to save me, you must.”

Verant looked at him uncertainly. The alien turned his head away and sighed. Tuvok was near to the point of getting on his knees. He figured that if his begging hadn’t already sent him over to where he needed to be, nothing would. Verant turned to him and sighed lightly.

“Crew, this is the Captain. I am once again speaking to you about a matter of great importance. All of you know about our search for Tuvok. We have discovered the origins of the buoy. It is precisely the place that Reinchaln had said it would be. We are only a week away. We have seven days to get the ship in shape. Once again, I am informing you that you may speak out against this. However, I am very confident that if we continue, we will find our missing comrade. You may speak now or privately later. So far, not a soul has spoken out against it.

“I find this very heartening from my crew. As many of you are aware, Tuvok has, in the past, done the same for several of us. Continued even when logic itself dictated that he shouldn’t turn back. However, it is not just his life on the line. It is all of ours. Please, think, but if you feel this is worthwhile, we must finish our repairs.”

There was no dissension from anyone, so Janeway turned off the communicator. For a few moments, it was quiet on the bridge. There was only the sound of people going about their jobs. Then Chakotay spoke up from where he had been sitting quietly.

“I don’t know if I speak for everyone Captain, but I can assure you that I and many others would be more than willing to risk our lives for the chance of retrieving Tuvok. He is more than just a tactical officer or a Lieutenant. He is our friend and our comrade. He had stood with us through some of the worst challenges imaginable, and he has held firm the entire time. I don’t believe we would’ve gotten nearly as far as we did without him. We would go to the ends of the universe for him.”

There was a chorus of agreeing noises from several of the other people on the bridge, and Janeway felt a proud smile touch her lips. She didn’t believe there was another crew anywhere in the universe as loyal and good as hers.


	17. Dirty Secret

Kell’an was grinning when he re-entered the cell with Tuvok and Verant. His smile held an edge of sadism that had been missing for the past few torture sessions.

“Well, did you make a decision? Who is going? Who is staying?”

Tuvok glanced at Verant and then turned to Kell’an. “I am staying here. Verant will be leaving.”

“Excellent choice, so noble. Well, _Verant,_ why don’t we leave? I have your blindfold right here.”

“Wait!” Tuvok spoke up suddenly. Verant looked at him alarmed, but Tuvok continued, “I need your assurance he will actually be let go. That you aren’t just going to kill him as soon as you are out of this cell. I won’t be responsible for his death.”

Kell’an gave him an affectionate smile. “You are so intelligent all the time. No, I’m not going to kill him. He’s free to go and return to his life. Or return here if he so chooses. Right darling?”

Kell’an leaned over and gently rubbed his nose across Verant’s cheek. Verant smiled at him gently. Tuvok’s brow furrowed as he stared at them. He was desperately confused, but some things were starting to fall into place. Verant’s lack of fear about his situation. Kell’an’s genuine happiness at having him there.

Tuvok tried to reconcile this with everything he had learned about Kell’an so far. It made sense that he would have a partner. Someone he could rely on to help him with what was necessary. Obviously, the partner didn’t begin to get involved in the actual torture until a victim could show that they could go a great distance.

“Truthfully darling, I just wanted you to meet the most important person in my life. He takes precedence over you, of course, but you’re still plenty important. I didn’t want you thinking that you were the only person in my life thought. That would be very pathetic.”

Verant decided to chime in. “I desperately to meet the subject that was holding up so well. The one that is apparently so noble that he allowed another prisoner to escape and himself be recaptured. I was worried you wouldn’t hold up to my expectations. However, you most certainly did. You begged me so prettily to leave while I had the chance. Gave all of your wonderfully logical reasons why I should be the one to leave and was willing to remain here for another perfect stranger. You truly are exquisite.”

“Here is my dirty little secret, Tuvok. I have a loving husband and a wonderful life. I’m not alone in the world, and I have people that care for me and would take care of me. I don’t always introduce my lovely Verant to other people. He can be a bit shy. However, when I do, it has the most amazing effect on my subjects. They see me, a person who is so monstrous to them, having what many of them will never. You have a wonderful family, but they are far, far away from here. Doesn’t that chafe at you, just a little?”

Tuvok narrowed his eyes and gazed at them impassively. “No, it does not, and it never will. You are confusing me with someone who feels emotions. A victim that is ruled by their feelings above all else. I am Vulcan, and we spend our entire lives repressing our emotions. The monstrous things you do, don’t have an emotional impact. Vulcans believe that life is sacred, but we don’t emotionally involve ourselves in the way other species do. I do not feel anything.”

Verant smiled, slow and triumphant. “We’re going to see about that, my dear Tuvok. You are going to pain and guilt you have never felt before. Your life will become submerged in agony. I desperately want to see if this “emotionless” will see you through to the end. After all, I haven’t even gotten started with you yet.”

Kell’an smiled affectionately at both of them and lightly bounced on the balls of his feet. “Time for us to take our leave of my sweet thing. You can talk with him more tomorrow. You are going to enjoy working with him so much. I just know it.”

They exited the cell holding hands, and Tuvok allowed himself to sink into his own thoughts, shocked at what had just happened. Usually, he was spot on about the people he came into contact with. It was easy to tell that someone was in the middle of doing something that they shouldn’t be; their emotions gave them away. This time he hadn’t even had an inkling that something was wrong. He had just offered up his life for a total stranger that turned out to be a psycho.

Tuvok thought back to their interactions, but nothing about the situation screamed that Verant was guilty. He had just seemed like a level-headed hostage that knew what needed to be done. Tuvok had a hard time believing that he had missed the fact that the man was as bad as Kell’an. Although he didn’t come in until a much later time. Why was that?

Tuvok’s keen mind began to unravel the mystery of Verant. There was more to him than met the eye; Tuvok was sure of that. If he differed from Kell’an, he might have a weakness that Tuvok could use against his captors. Something that would allow an easier escape.

Although, it might be that Verant brought an entirely new edge to Tuvok’s situation. It could mean that it was nearly impossible to escape from this place without help. If Verant was covering the parts that Kell’an left open, Tuvok might never escape.

Tuvok thought that through for a moment and then dismissed the thought. He would never accept his fate of being tortured until they were satisfied, or he was dead. There was no point in dwelling on it if it was possible to escape. There simply was no other option for him.

Tuvok believed that Voyager was keeping an eye out for him. They even might be on their way right then. Tuvok might not have that much time, though. He needed to escape before this situation became even direr. There was no telling how Verant would change the dynamic of their situation. He could drive Kell’an to even more brutal heights.


	18. Paranoia

Tuvok didn’t sleep much that night. His mind was consumed by thoughts of his captors and what their next move was likely to be. Tuvok was not prone to paranoia. He took appropriate precautions based on the likelihood of something happening. However, he couldn’t help a certain amount of illogical concern over what might happen with the new variable of Verant.

It was impossible to predict what would happen with Kell’an’s partner, which made it illogical to think about. However, Tuvok couldn’t seem to stop his mind from creating possible scenarios that might come to pass with the new alien.

They even included Verant getting jealous and killing Tuvok in a fit of rage. Tuvok found that highly unlikely, but he wasn’t able to discount it either. He finally managed to find sleep in the later hours that Tuvok assumed was night. He had no way of telling time and no access to the sun.

However, Kell’an had a set routine for visiting him, so Tuvok assumed that this was when the man was sleeping.

That thought led him back to ideas about Verant. Were the two of them sleeping in the same bed? Perhaps they weren’t together, Verant at his home and Kell’an lurking in his torture castle. Maybe the two of them were only together for a little while a day, where Verant wasn’t at his work.

Tuvok could admit that it fascinated him a great deal. He had witnessed plenty of relationships in his time. Vulcans with Vulcans and humans. Humans with each other and a variety of aliens. Tuvok had been in Star Fleet for a very long time. He had seen almost every relationship imaginable in every configuration conceivable.

Yet he had never encountered such violent people managing to find their way to each other in a way that no one had ever seen before. They were violent together and very clearly enjoyed each other’s company. How had it come about? Had then been together before or after they knew the other was a murderer the way they were? What had led them to undertake this venture together?

Tuvok attempted to think of something besides his captors, but his crew was the only thing that came to mind. The people he had lived and worked with in the Delta Quadrant for several years. Unfortunately, that led to more concern he was unable to do anything about.

He had no idea if his crew would find him. Even if they did find where he was located there was no guarantee that they would attempt to retrieve him. They simply might choose to continue on their journey and not get their crewmember back. Captain Jane might see it as unnecessary risk.

However, there was also the much more likely scenario that they would pursue him and find where he was being kept. If they came under attack, he had no way of making sure that they would survive the encounter or take as little damage as possible.

Tuvok’s paranoia about his crew was legendary. Never did he allow a crew member to place themselves in danger when he himself could undertake the risk. He had only risked their lives retrieving the Captain and the Commander at their behest. Otherwise he would never have allowed it to happen and would much rather they stay someplace moderately safe. They would’ve survived on the planet easily enough.

Tuvok thought back on his buoy and his message he had sent with Reinchaln, second guessing the decision to seek out help. It might prove the Voyager’s undoing and Tuvok would never have allowed that if he had been thinking straight. He should’ve told Reinchaln to simply go home and never speak of what had happened before. Although, if he knew the way that emotional beings operated, Reinchaln might very well have insisted on staying if that was the case.

Tuvok sighed and rubbed his forehead in exasperation. It was foolish to second guess his decisions without knowing how they had turned out or would turn out. Without the extra data there was no way to know what he should’ve done differently, if anything at all.

Plus, there was the crew’s feelings themselves to remember. Perhaps they wouldn’t have abandoned him as quickly as he had thought.

Most of the senior officers and a few junior officers were gathered in the mess hall together. Each of them held a solemn expression and were looking expectantly at the speaker who stood apart from the group. Harry Kim had surprised himself with calling this meeting, but he knew that it needed to be done. Each of the bridge officers were there, with the exception of the Captain herself.

“I’ve called each of you here today to speak to you about what is going to happen. I also believe that I have some insight that is necessary about where we are going.”

A small ruckus of shouts infiltrated the room, accusing Harry of not wanting to retrieve Tuvok. He glared at them and waited for them to quiet before going on with what he was planning to say.

“I am more than in favor of retrieving Tuvok. I would be the first person to try and convince a crewmember that his rescue is necessary. I am here to speak to you about what is going to happen after we have him back.

“The Captain hasn’t announced this to the crew but our source says that he’s being tortured. Tuvok is being held by a psycho and experimented on. I know this is deeply upsetting but we need to be ready for what happens when he returns here. He will be hurting in a way that few of us will understand. He doesn’t feel emotions the way we do but there is almost certainly going to be psychological impact. We need to come up with ways to help him through this tough time. That is why I called you all here today.”

“So, you want us to help come up with ways to help him cope after he returns. To assist in his transition back to being on the Voyager.”

“Yes, Tom, exactly. He is going to need the sort of help none of us know how to give. If we start coming up with ideas now, together. Then when we have details, we can implement a plan. Get ahead of what is going to be a very challenging time for him. The Captain didn’t want us to know because she was worried that we would be distracted. However, the repairs and modifications are almost finished and we still have several days to go. We should start now.”


	19. Grief

Tuvok was tired when he woke up. This wasn’t an unusual occurrence for him, even back on the Voyager. The hours were long and thankless, and there wasn’t anyone who could replace him at his post. At least not when they were in any altercation. That meant putting in a lot of hours as the tactical officer. Tuvok didn’t begrudge this; in fact, it was entirely satisfactory.

There was very little to do on Voyager other than the holodecks or social gatherings. Tuvok favored neither. His philosophy studies were slow without someone to speak to, and there were only so many times you could play Kal-Toh by yourself.

However, this was a different kind of tired. It was the kind that settled deep into your bones and made your entire body ache with the urge to rest. However, his own mind wouldn’t allow it. It kept spinning through hour after hour of speculation on his captors.

The pain wasn’t helping either. It seemed to be so much it distracted him from his meditation but not so much as to distract him from the tired that permeated his entire body.

Tuvok couldn’t help but want to be back on the Voyager.

Although it seemed to come with daily boredom, Tuvok couldn’t deny that it was comfortable to live there. Even though he wished to see his wife and children again, he had found contentment on board Voyager.

He had made several amiable acquaintances. Harry Kim could often be persuaded away from his mindless pleasure of the holodeck to engage in a game of Kal-Toh. Instructing Seven with her studies and search for her humanity. Even Neelix, with his optimism and high energy, was companionable. He genuinely worked towards making the crew as upbeat and cheerful in the face of their overwhelming journey.

Tuvok had, quite surprisingly, begun to miss his crewmates. Not in the way he felt for his wife and children. Nor in the way he grieved for his parents now that he couldn’t visit the Cave of Ancestors. Yet, somehow, there was a deep grieving for his crewmates. Not only for the ones they had lost along the way but for the ones he might never see again.

It was an odd contradiction. That he, a Vulcan, should want the attention and company of humans. Although it had happened several times in the past with other Vulcans. They usually kept only to themselves and a tiny group of close friends.

Tuvok grieved for _all_ of his crewmates.

He grieved for not being able to guide the people under his command. His security team who often needed direction for their career when they returned to the Alpha Quadrant. The bridge crew who often coaxed him to their social gatherings. Even the junior officers who told him they felt better about away missions when he was with them.

He initially saw their insistence on company as a waste of time. An attempt to rebuild social groups they had left behind. Then he had seen it as a desperate way to spend the many hours they weren’t working on something besides petty hobbies or sleeping. Now, he knew it was a way to strengthen their connections with each other—a technique to draw closer and inspire loyalty.

Whether or not the humans saw it that way didn’t matter. That was the end result. He doubted that many were aware of the technique. Tuvok did know that Commander Chakotay was mindful of how it affected people. He had been the one to inform Tuvok of the necessity of social gatherings. Once Tuvok had become aware of how they functioned, he had made more of an effort to join them. Tiring as they were for him.

This had only inspired the crew to attempt to coax him out more often. Trying to change his solitary ways. They had, to a degree. He now joined them regularly. Although far less than his Captain would’ve preferred.

Tuvok’s contemplation of his grief over his crewmates was ended by the cell opening.

It was Verant. Who, while much less cheerful, was still as sadistic as his partner. He stepped into the room alone and closed the door behind him. Tuvok watched warily, unsure of this new variable.

“You are so quiet all the time. You hardly ever cry out when Kell’an torments you. You don’t cry when we’re here or when we’re gone. You are a taciturn person. I must say I am enjoying it greatly. Some pretend to be the strong silent types and then burst into tears as soon as we are out the door. You, you are the real deal.”

“What do you want, Verant?”

“Straight to the point, huh? I want to help my husband complete his mission. I want him to stop bringing home all of these weak-willed bastard aliens and have him break them long before they should be broken. I want you _gone_. I’ve been watching you. It’s the psychological torments that get you every time. The physical stuff you just ignore. So, here’s my question, my emotionless friend, why do you miss your friends so much? You feel nothing, yet here you are, thinking about them, grieving for them.”

Tuvok looked at him steadily. “How do you know I’m thinking of my crew?”

“Because I have studied a lot of species when they are tortured. They all get the same expression on their faces when they think of their friends rather than their family. Do you miss them? Do you feel their loss keenly? Do you dream of when you will be reunited?”

Tuvok shook his head. “I feel nothing, but that doesn’t mean I can’t think of what I am missing by being here. The time I should be spending on satisfying mentoring relationships. The people I do my best to guide, lead, and protect. The time that is lost and that even if I return, I will never regain. There is something ultimately tragic about that kind of lost time. Yes, I am grieving for my inability to be with my crew. Similar to the way, I grieve my inability to be with my family. No, I can’t tell you why or how I forged these relationships, but that doesn’t make them any less deep than they are.”


	20. Lost

His chance came during what turned out to be the middle of the night. Something about the situation felt right, an instinct Tuvok wasn’t willing to ignore. Before he could talk himself out of it or the window closed, he was up and running away.

He remembered the path he and Reinchaln had taken. Although that seemed so long ago. He followed it up to the door, opened it, and as out before anyone was the wiser. Unfortunately, he immediately ran into an issue. Once he was out of the building, he had no idea where he was going. Reinchaln had just flown away. Once they were high enough up, it would’ve been easy to see a way out.

Tuvok couldn’t fly. He took a deep breath and focused on keeping his calm.

He decided to walk as far as possible in a single direction. He took note of the landmarks, then using the stars above him, began to make his way out of the area.

It was heavily wooded and filled with thick brush. Tuvok moved at a slow pace, but he knew that it was likely his captors were as well. Although they would have the advantage of knowing where they were going.

Tuvok would eventually come across something that would help him escape permanently. He just needed to be patient with it. He kept his walk to a slow and steady pace. It was better to continue moving steadily for a time rather than fast for a short period.

However, several hours into his escape, Tuvok was forced to admit the truth. He was very well and truly lost. The sun was beginning to rise, and with it, the stars were becoming harder and harder to see. He would be able to use the sun to direct himself, but there was very little change in figuring out where he should be going without a vantage point.

Tuvok didn’t allow this to despair him. If he wasn’t caught, he could walk steadily for several days until he reached some form of civilization. If he was caught, it would allow him to rule out this particular direction. Tuvok knew that there had to be a way out of this area. Reinchaln had done it, so would he.

Eventually, he came to a small stream of water and decided that it would be sensible to take a short break. He had been walking for so long that the sun was now overhead. Tuvok was hot, thirsty, and tired. His legs were burning from him, pushing them to move even in his weakened state.

He sat down next to the water and contemplated it. He didn’t see anything that would indicate bacteria that would be dangerous. Finally, Tuvok figured that the relief of a drink would be worth anything dangerous he got from the water. He simply didn’t have the strength to continue without a drink of water.

He cupped the water gently and drank from his hands. It tasted even cleaner than the artificially cleaned or replicated water he drank on Voyager. He drank his fill, not sure when he would come across another water source like this.

Tuvok stood carefully, his legs wobbly underneath him. The torture had taken more out of him than he had initially thought. He felt incredibly weak and glanced over his lean body. Never the bulkiest at any time, he had begun to look downright gaunt. His long angular features were even more pronounced than usual.

Tuvok knew that this was the farthest he had ever gotten and that he needed to keep going. Yet, he had no clue where he was going. Despite his initial belief, he might walk for days or weeks before coming to any sort of civilization.

He was too weak in the legs to overcome the possibility that he might not find his way out of this situation. In a move very out of his standard operating procedure, he simply sat back down, back to a tree. Tuvok closed his eyes tiredly and sighed softly.

For several minutes he sat in silence. The water was rushing near him, and far away, he could hear some animal noises. Other than that, it was dead quiet. When he heard the crunching of boots on dirt, Tuvok didn’t bother to open his eyes. He knew who it would be. He hadn’t been able to remove the collar or cover his tracks on the way out.

“Feeling tired? Poor thing.”

Tuvok opened his eyes and looked up into Kell’an’s. Kell’an held out a hand, and Tuvok took it gently. Kell’an pulled him to his feet, careful to make sure that he didn’t wobble too much or fall other. A definite possibility at this point.

“Let’s go back, darling. You look absolutely exhausted. You should know better than to go running in the woods by yourself. All sorts of dangerous things can happen to you, and you’d have no way of stopping them, now would you?”

Tuvok didn’t bother to answer the question. He didn’t recognize the path leading him back. He must’ve ended up more lost than he had initially realized. Now, he would return to his cell, with nothing to show but more exhaustion.

Kell’an kept his grip on Tuvok’s arm the entire way back to the building. He released it, needing both hands to open the door, and then had it back as soon as they were inside. He walked Tuvok back to his cell without a word.

Once they reached it, Kell’an guided him inside and finally spoke about what had happened.

“I desperately hope you enjoyed that little outing because you are most definitely going to pay for it tomorrow. I might not begrudge your escape attempts, you are just a person after all, and you don’t understand my cause, but I still have to punish you. Don’t worry, it won’t be too bad. I need you in shape for Verant’s work as well as mine.”

Kell’an patted Tuvok condescendingly on the cheek and then left the cell. Tuvok gave in to the urge to bury his head in his knees. He was caught between his want of returning to Voyager and his unwillingness to not place the crew in danger. Although it wasn’t like that was new.


	21. Hypothermia

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fairly certain I'm going to finish this all on time. I only have 5 left to write. All of the others are done.

Tuvok knew that the punishment for his escape attempt was going to be severe. He had made it too far for Kell’an to no longer believe he was incapable of escaping. The alien would only be left with violently convincing Tuvok that escape was the wrong decision.

That didn’t mean he was prepared for it when it happened.

In hindsight, Tuvok should’ve known that he would choose the cold torture. It had been the most effective of everything he had done.

Kell’an entered the cell frowning. He glanced at Tuvok, who was once again against the back wall away from the door, and Tuvok knew that he wouldn’t be in the mood to talk. His escape attempt looked as if it had rattled Kell’an badly. Tuvok knew that anything he said might just make his situation worse. He chose to not say anything at all. To just keep his mouth shut and not engage.

Kell’an approached him quickly, and almost immediately, he was unchaining and leading him towards the cage. Once Tuvok was inside, this seemed to spur Kell’an into talking. Although it was nothing that Tuvok wanted to hear.

“You really shouldn’t have tried to escape. Once I have proven a way to resist torture, I will become famous and be renowned for my research. Until then, you must be obedient to me. You can’t run away or be too confrontational. Otherwise, I’m going to have to punish you, and I hate doing that. I can’t just allow this bad behavior to run rampant, though. Now, you be quiet and take your punishment, and I’ll be back in a while to let you out.”

Kell’an exited the cell, and almost immediately, the temperature began to drop. It was not a pleasant feeling at all. Tuvok gritted his teeth and bore the dropping temperature as best he could. Soon though, they began to chatter with the cold. Tuvok didn’t complain or cry out. He would save his begging for another time. Kell’an’s words had made it seem as though if he were quiet, then he might be released faster. No matter the reason, he was choosing to keep his mouth shut.

It only took a few minutes for the room to become almost unbearably cold. There was nothing to insulate himself with and no way to move around. He was stuck dealing with the pain of the cold inflicted. Tuvok retreated into his mind. He had figured out how to block all physical sensations. Therefore, he never noticed when the cold began to have serious effects.

When Tuvok resurfaced, he immediately knew there was something very wrong. His hands and feet felt incredibly stiff. He attempted to move then, and they barely went. Tuvok breathed deeply and focused on warming his fingers between his thighs. His entire body felt much too cold. Kell’an had never taken it this far before. Always stopping long before the bodily risk became great.

This was a bad sign. Either Kell’an didn’t realize how bad things had gotten, or he didn’t care.

Tuvok didn’t allow himself back into his retreat. He needed to be present for whatever was going to happen next. He sat there shivering, colder than he ever remembered being. He knew that he was in real trouble when he stopped feeling quite so cold. His shivering stopped, and he could almost stand to be in the temperature. That was a serious sign that he was headed straight for hypothermia.

Just as he was seriously contemplating freezing to death in his cage, the temperature of the room began to rise. He could feel the change instantly, his skin sensitive after being in the cold for so long.

He hadn’t begun to shiver again even as Kell’an entered the cell looking incredibly worried. He approached him carefully, holding a device that looked similar to a tricorder. He scanned Tuvok with it and looked even more nervous.

“I left you in here too long. I hadn’t realized just how sensitive to the cold your species was. Apparently, you go from fine to freezing very, very quickly. We need to get you warmed up as soon as possible, or we risk pneumonia.”

Tuvok nodded in agreement but couldn’t find the energy to speak. He was exhausted from this session, and all he wanted to do was sleep. Despite the urge, Tuvok knew that he had to stay awake. Falling asleep like this could very well be a death sentence.

Kell’an helped him out of the cage, and instead of leaving him in the cell, like usual, he walked him to the door. Kell’an seemed to understand his confusion.

“You need more medical treatment than I can give you in here. We’re going to go to our infirmary and warm you up. It will be easier to get warm liquids in you there.”

Tuvok attempted to trace the path they took to get to the infirmary. His mind was uncooperative, though, and all he could get was a general direction from his cell. Hopefully, on the way back, he would be able to remember it.

Kell’an walked him into a small space, just a little smaller than the sickbay on Voyager. He laid Tuvok on one of the beds and immediately began to rig up a small machine next to him. He pressed a needle into Tuvok’s arm and pressed several buttons.

Warm liquid began to enter his bloodstream. Tuvok started to shiver, the cold blood beginning to circulate through his system and make its way towards his heart. His breathing was ragged and rough. Kell’an observed him and started to arrange some tools on a tray next to him. Tuvok wondered why he hadn’t been brought here after the incident with the knife. Perhaps it hadn’t been a serious enough injury.

Although that insinuated that he was in a lot of danger with the hypothermia. Not a wrong assumption considering that cold was possibly the only thing that Vulcans were extremely susceptible to. They could handle almost anything else, but their physiology demanded warmth—their origins on an incredibly warm planet and penchant for heavy clothing forging creatures accustomed to the heat.

Tuvok knew it was going to be a long few hours to recover from this.


	22. Drugged

When Tuvok woke, he was confused by his surroundings. Usually, he awoke in his cell, on the floor, pressed tightly against the back wall and utterly exhausted. This time, he woke handcuffed to a hard bed. The ceiling above him was white and unremarkable. The most noticeable change was that his mind felt sluggish and slow.

Tuvok carefully assessed his own thought processes. Even while tired, he didn’t have such trouble stringing together thoughts. He knew that hypothermia could make you slow down mentally. It was one of the reasons it was such a killer. You didn’t keep thinking about your survival, your mind wandered, and before you knew it, you had done something that would seal your fate.

However, Tuvok had experienced hypothermia before. He knew well the symptoms and dangers. Although it slowed your processes and made it hard to stay focused, it didn’t affect him this way. He could still think clearly, even if much slower. He was able to continue to operate even if it was at a glacial pace compared to normal.

With this, _all_ of his energy was going towards thinking through his symptoms. He could barely focus on anything but his own heavy eyes. He had no clue of his surroundings or who else might be in the room with him.

“I’ve given you a sedative to keep you from moving around and pulling out the IV. I need to keep you as warm as possible, and that means limited movements and lots of warm liquid. That’s much easier to do when you aren’t moving around a lot. However, as you warm up, your instinct will be to get up and move around. Attempt to generate the heat yourself. I just can’t allow you to do that.”

“What kind of sedative did you give me?” The words came slowly to Tuvok. He pushed through the urge to just lay there and do nothing. He needed to know what was being put inside of him.

“Just something that will slow you down a bit. Not true sedation. That would be dangerous in your state. I just want to make sure you don’t move around, not hurt you in any further. You shouldn’t have been hurt at all. However, you neglected to mention you were from a warm planet and used to heat.”

Tuvok tilted his head. “I hadn’t realized that you liked to have the life stories of each of your victims. More than that, it didn’t seem prudent to give you ammunition in your efforts to torture me into insanity.”

Kell’an frowned and looked insulted. “I want to know everything about you. I also don’t _want_ to torture you into insanity. I want to find someone who won’t be tortured into insanity. That is the entire purpose of my work. Clearly, you haven’t been listening to me.”

“I often choose to ignore people when they are spouting amoral and unstable theories. It isn’t just you. I don’t it with anyone I think is not in their right minds. It is illogical to spend time on something that isn’t worth the effort of listening.”

Tuvok was a little surprised at his own boldness. Up to this point, he had limited how much he said. He kept his more sarcastic thoughts in. Choosing to tread carefully in the waters of crazy that seemed to surround Kell’an.

Kell’an stared at him, mouth open in shock. “I had no idea you really felt that way. The drug must be lowering your inhibitions. If that’s how you really felt, why didn’t you say anything?”

Tuvok narrowed his eyes. It was true that the drug was removing his ability to censor what he said. That didn’t mean he wasn’t going to try and keep the worst of it inside. “I don’t believe in saying things that would only serve to distress the individual they are directed at. It is illogical that if they aren’t constructive, there is simply no point in saying anything at all.”

Kell’an smiled a little at him. “I suppose that does make sense logically. I forget that you don’t feel spite or annoyance. You aren’t driven to hurt others with your words the way that so many others are.”

Harry Kim was proud of the group he had created to make Tuvok’s return easier. Tom could see it in his eyes. He couldn’t help but take some credit for the ideas that they came up with. As good and right as it seemed, Tom was still concerned about the group itself. They were operating on the belief that they _would_ retrieve Tuvok. That he would come home and then need help.

What worried Tom was how they would take it if he wasn’t there or was already dead. Tom didn’t like to contemplate losing a crewmember who, according to their new friend, had been alive just a little while ago. There was something deeply wrong about going to rescue someone and getting there too late when if they had moved faster, they might have been able to save him.

However, he had to be pragmatic. Tuvok had been there for weeks at this point. Every minute that he spent in the hands of a man torturing him increased the likelihood of not getting out of alive. They still had 3 days to go. Even if he was alive now, he might not be when they got there.

Tom knew it would be a horrible blow to the entire crew’s morale. There had been a distinct mood lift when they searched their crewmember with an actual lead. For the time they hadn’t had anything, the entire ship had felt blanketed with sorrow and hopelessness.

However, the people how had made it their mission to make Tuvok as comfortable as possible when he came back, would take it so much worse. They were pouring their heart and souls into this project. Using it to fuel them until he was rescued. Making action plans and putting all of their hope into it. Retrieving Tuvok would carry them for a long time. It would be the ultimate win. When they were so close to getting them back, losing him might just break them down completely.


	23. Exhaustion

Tuvok had been tired for the entire time he had been captured. The air was too cold, the days too long and filled with pain, and sleep had been scarce. However, nothing had felt quite like the exhaustion he had been left with after leaving the infirmary. Tuvok had to assume it was a side effect of the sedation. He had dealt with hypothermia before, and beyond some residual tiredness for a few days, he usually was fine as soon as he was warmed up.

This time though, it felt like someone had drained all of his energy from his body at once.

His limbs were sluggish and uncoordinated. His eyes had trouble focusing for any period, and Tuvok found himself not wanting to do anything but sleep. It was rapidly becoming an obstacle for his escape plans and his ability to deal with the torture. Kell’an seemed more and more anxious the longer Tuvok took to recover from the ordeal.

Kell’an had done several flushes to rid his system of the chemicals that had kept him compliant. However, their effect seemed to last, even after it left his system. It made him unbelievably tired.

Tuvok had been tired a lot in his life. Life on the Voyager was a stringent one, and no one could do his job the way he could. Long unrewarding hours and ungrateful people marked the days. Never on Voyager, nor during his residence in Kell’an possession, had he ever felt like this.

He wondered if this was what depression felt like. This constant pull to simply lay down and never get up. Vulcans weren’t prone to depression, and it only usually occurred once their mates passed away. Often it led to their own deaths. Their bodies merely executing what their minds already knew—that their life was over.

Since Vulcans repressed their feelings, they weren’t affected in the same way that races that did feel were. Emotions were not part of their lives, and without the emotional aspect, depression was just fatigue wearing a heavy coat.

Or at least, that’s what Tuvok had always assumed. He had never been in a situation before that forced him to believe that there might be no way out. That all action towards saving himself and all hope that he would be saved was for naught. There had always been a way out. Now, there might be nothing.

He attempted to push that thought from his mind, but it plagued him. As much as he didn’t want them to, his thoughts turned toward his future. There were downsides to being a pragmatist, and one of those was the inability to not think about the future. To not try and plan his way out of any situation.

In this one, though, with his body and mind weakening, it was becoming increasingly likely that there would be no way out. Tuvok closed his eyes and felt relief from them immediately. They ached and wanted to stay closed. He tried to force them back open, but they wouldn’t go.

The hypothermia was pushing him to the very edge of his limits. He was reaching the point of no return. Eventually, even if the Voyager managed to rescue him, there was a good chance that he would already be gone mentally or physically. That wasn’t a pleasant thought, but it was a realistic one. One, he hoped the crew was thinking about if they were pursuing him.

He had seen humans with their hopes dashed. Every time they came across a solution for getting home, that didn’t work. The Caretaker’s mate, the resonance device, and the wormhole had all placed a damper on morale.

They had affected him less, but Tuvok knew that it wasn’t fair to compare them to him. He had already resigned himself to not seeing his wife or children again. Even if they were to make it back in a relatively short time compared to the original timeline, even 10 years was too many. By that point, his mind would begin to degrade faster and faster. Eventually, it would cease to function, and he would die.

He hadn’t told the Captain that yet. He didn’t want her to feel guilt over not using the Array to send the crew back to the Alpha Quadrant. She already felt enough.

Tuvok felt a thought creep in. It was let in by the exhaustion, and he couldn’t clear it from his mind. It was similar to earlier thoughts where he had believed it was best to not contact Voyager. To save his crew from a hypothetical fate.

Perhaps it really would be better to die here than to go back to the Voyager.

He didn’t want to lose his mental faculties. He didn’t want to put his crew through the pain of watching him lose his mind and then losing him to death. He didn’t want to have them cling to the desperate hope that they would get back in time to restore him to his full self. If he died here, they would only know the grief of losing a comrade.

It would also mean that the fledgling relationships he had built would not go any further. No crew member would have a chance to become attached, as so many humans did. This would save them from further heartbreak in the future.

All he had to do was give in. To stop resisting the tortures being inflicted on him and allow Kell’an to kill him. There were so many things that could be prevented by doing so.

It felt like the right thing to do, but Tuvok still battled it. His logic dictated that he wasn’t thinking clearly. That it was the tiredness and his responsibility for taking care of the crew. He tried to argue that a developed relationship that ended, even that ended painfully, was worth more than not having to deal with a loss.

Perhaps they wouldn’t see it as a loss at all. Perhaps with his extended life span, they would view it as a natural part of life. Another elder passing on.

Tuvok didn’t even really believe that one. His logic said it was possible, but experience told him it was wrong. All his crewmates would see a middle-aged man, with a lot of life before him, losing first his mental faculties and then his life.

That still didn’t help with his dilemma. Was it better to simply remove that pain from their futures before it even happened?


	24. Blindfolded

Tuvok expected Kell’an to be the one to continue his torture as soon as he was mostly healed. Verant had yet to make any overtures or try out his techniques. Tuvok believed that it was because Verant was mainly just along for the ride.

It was Verant who opened the door that day for the current session. He smiled softly when he saw Tuvok, and Tuvok couldn’t help but wonder at the apparent affection that these two had for him. They acted as though they actually cared about his wellbeing. However, Tuvok knew that that couldn’t be true because they wouldn’t be torturing him. Although it was possible that in their own twisted and cold way that they did care for Tuvok.

Tuvok watched as Verant approached him, holding a strip of cloth. He rigged him up in the familiar way and then took the fabric and wrapped it around Tuvok’s eyes. Tuvok knew that it was used as a tool to unsettle him. The fabric would keep him from seeing the tools and unable to know what was going to happen next.

However, with Tuvok, it had the opposite effect. By block out his sight, he was having a much easier time focusing on his meditation techniques. It was a sense that was removed from the equation and, therefore, didn’t need to be overcome.

“That’s better. Although it is a good psychological tool, I will admit that I don’t blindfold out experiments when I torture them. I blindfold them because I don’t like the way their eyes follow me around the room. Makes it easier to distance myself. Alright, let’s begin. I have a few things I want to get through today, and every minute is precious.”

Tuvok sunk deep into his meditation but didn’t allow himself to go completely under. After the cold torture had gone so terribly wrong, he had resigned himself to not using his particular trick too much. He couldn’t risk losing his life to a madman—either of the madmen that regularly tormented him.

He might be willing to lose his life to protect the crew of the Voyager, but it wasn’t going to happen out of negligence.

Tuvok was startled by the feeling of something sharp at his side, slicing him open. He gasped in pain but then quickly got it under control. Everything was dulled by his meditative state, and he barely felt. Tuvok heard Verant hum softly.

“I know that Kell’an tried this particular one with you earlier. He said it didn’t go well. You moved, and the knife slid deep into your body, right next to your heart. That’s quite dangerous for your species, I imagine. However, he isn’t used to using them. He prefers a more permanent approach than just slight cuts. I am much more experienced with knives. I use them in all of my sessions.”

Tuvok didn’t bother to respond because he knew that one wasn’t expected. Verant didn’t come here to talk. He came to test Tuvok the way that his partner did. Kell’an like a lot of interaction. However, Tuvok knew that a man that couldn’t look his victims in the eyes wouldn’t like a lot of talking.

Tuvok was attempting to adjust to the new parameters brought to the session. Kell’an liked to know that all of your focus was on him, but Verant didn’t seem to have the same need. A thought occurred to Tuvok, and before he knew it, he was acting.

“I think it means you aren’t the same level as him. You don’t have the same ability to coldly torture and murder innocent people.”

Tuvok was surprised at himself. Since when did he press boundaries? However, he knew that he had to be defiant. This experience was wearing him down. He _had_ to do something to prove to himself and to them that he wasn’t broken. That even with some of the most horrible things happening to him, he wasn’t just a toy to be played with.

Tuvok knew that it was partially emotionally driven, but he didn’t care. If emotions were what he needed to survive this, then he would use them. His determination to get out, burned even brighter. Verant had managed to wake what Tuvok had forgotten.

“This is your Captain. We are only a few hours away from the planet we believe Tuvok is on. Not only from our source who said he was there, but from the buoy Tuvok had sent. I want to express my pride in your decision and check that everyone is still fine with searching him out. This is your last chance to object.”

Silence emanated back. Janeway gave a half-smile. “I understand. We are going to do everything in our power to get our crewmember back. We are risking our lives in a confrontation, but several of you have told me why his dedication and service to this crew are worth saving. I agree. Tuvok has given us a lot and worked tirelessly towards our goal of getting home. Think of this as a pep talk. We will do our best to get back our crewmember. If we are lucky, he’ll still be alive when we get him back. If we aren’t well, at least we can give him a proper funeral.

“We are all hoping for his safe return. However, I must inform you that if he is returned, he will be injured. He will be in pain and might not be the same man that he left us. However, I know that a crew that can be compassionate enough to accept a former Borg can accept the new him. Those of you that were part of the group coming up with ideas to help him adjust are already ahead of me. Yes, I knew about the group.” Her eyes found Harry Kim’s eyes, and he blushed.

“I am stunned every day by your bravery and strength. I have no doubt that should Tuvok be returned to us, he will be in good hands. I also know that as resistant as he is to say it, he sees the great things that each of you is capable of. He knows the true compassion and kindness of this crew. I also believe he will appreciate it, even if he chooses not to say anything. So, to each of you, to me, to all of us, good luck.”


	25. Ringing Ears

Tuvok woke from his short nap with his ears ringing. He wasn’t sure what was causing it, but he was concerned. He had taken several blows to the head in his time here. He was at risk for there being permanent damage if he slept with a concussion. He pried his eyes open and looked around. There wasn’t anything noticeably different about his cell.

No chemicals were coming under the door. He had no recollection of a head wound in the past few hours that could cause the ringing. Although Tuvok had field medic training, he wasn’t qualified to diagnose what was causing it. Until he could get some real medical attention, he would just have to put up with it.

Tuvok stood to try and get a little exercise. He could tell his body was wasting away without the physical activity to keep it fit. It wasn’t a pleasant experience. He was trying to get as much movement in as possible between days. His resurgence in the will to live was demanding that he not be a complete invalid when he got out.

However, when he stood up, he immediately became incredibly dizzy. Black spots appeared in his eyes, and the world spun around him. He used the wall to steady himself and waited for it to abate. It did, but not before the ringing in his ears increased in volume. He swayed dangerously and finally slumped against the wall. He leaned against it until he was sitting on the ground. His ears still ringing, but the spots had been replaced. Instead of black, they appeared as colored arcs and circles.

He blinked his eyes to try and clear them, but they stayed where they were. Tuvok knew that he was in the beginning stage of a migraine—the aura phase. Tuvok’s migraines completely debilitated him. He would be incapable of taking any steps towards escape during it.

Janeway watched as the planet came into view. She raised an eyebrow at the sight of it. They still didn’t have very much information on what was happening there. They knew that a madman was holding Tuvok and torturing him. They even knew roughly where the building was. However, they had no idea if this was happening with the government’s knowledge.

“Hail the planet. Let’s see if they are in on this.”

“We have a response.”

“Onscreen.

An alien appeared on the screen. He was reptilian with green scales.

“We are the Groanl. How may we help you, travelers?”

“We’re searching for our crewmember that we think might have been brought here. He’s been missing for several weeks.”

The alien looked surprised. “What makes you think he was here? We don’t get many alien ships through here.”

“We believe that one of your kind abducted him. He sent a message buoy from your planet a few weeks ago. That’s what set us on your course. We also encountered another who said that they were also abducted by the same man.”

The alien took on an alarmed look. “You must wait for one moment. If it is who we believe it to be, we will help you retrieve your crewmember with the knowledge that his captor will be sent to us for punishing.”

Captain Janeway inclined her head. “We have no intention to get between him and your justice system. We are only after our crewmember. As soon as he, or his body, are recovered, we will leave the rest up to you.”

The alien nodded quickly. “I will be back momentarily. We must move quickly. Every moment your crewmember remains, there is another moment that his life is in danger.”

Once they had spoken to the supervisor, they had beamed down and made their way to the equivalent of a police station on the Groanl’s planet. They were led into a room that held numerous maps, charts, technology, and a lot of people. They were brought to the desk of an alien who looked up sharply when he saw them.

“My name is Selvent. Please, step into our conference room. I want to have this conversation in private.”

They followed him into a small room where he shut the door behind them. Then he scrubbed a hand over his face and looked at Janeway and the crew she had brought with her.

“You said that your crewmember was taken a few weeks ago. He looks like you?”

Captain Janeway felt a bolt of worry shoot through her. Had they found a body, and they needed an identification? She slowly nodded.

“Yes, the only external difference is his pointed ears. He’s got dark skin and brown eyes.”

Selvent looked relieved. “We haven’t found his body yet, which means there is a good chance he’s still alive. We’ve been pursuing Dr. Kell’an for almost a year. He has continued to elude us and take victims. It would go faster if we had a location to search for him and his partner, but we haven’t gotten anything yet.”

“We might be able to help you with that. We ran into another one of his victims a few days ago; they were on their way back to their home planet. They passed along the approximate location of the building Tuvok is being kept in. As long as he hasn’t been moved since then, we should be able to find them.”

Selvent looked hopeful. “If we could take this sadist down, we could keep him from hurting anyone else. If your crewmember has been there for as long as you say and survived, he must be absolutely incredible. I hate to tell you this, but the bodies we discovered have all shown signs of severe torture. It looks like they were tortured to a certain point and then murdered. You need to prepare yourself for what happens if you get him back. It’s not going to be pretty.”

“We are well aware of the possibilities. The crew has already taken the initiative to come up with ways to help him once we have him back.”

Selvent nodded in approval. “If he could survive that monster, then I gave no doubt that he can recover with your help. It might take some time, but anyone that strong is a true survivor.”

Janeway felt a tendril of hope within her, and for the first time since Tuvok disappeared, she didn’t squash it. Maybe she could afford a little hope, especially since they were so close to having him back. Although she didn’t know how awful it would be if they didn’t manage to rescue him. She didn’t even want to contemplate that thought.


	26. Migraine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think I'm going to make it. I only have two left to write.

Knowing that a migraine was on its way didn’t make dealing with it any easier. All Tuvok could do was feel his descent into a place he couldn’t escape from.

It had begun just behind his left eye. The headache radiated backward through the entire left side of his head. The beginning of the pain wasn’t too bad—it never was at the start. Only a few minutes later, though, it felt like his entire head had been struck multiple times without the relief of falling unconscious.

He curled into himself. There was no way to deal with this sort of pain. All you could do was hold on and hope that it didn’t actually kill, although it definitely made you want to die in the meantime. Tuvok felt a little incredulous that the pain that would really bring him to his knees wasn’t even from his captors. This was a purely internal issue and had to do with his chronic condition.

He had never informed the Captain of his migraines. He felt no need to draw undue attention towards something that couldn’t be helped until they were back in the Alpha Quadrant. She would just see it as another thing to feel guilty over.

Besides, he didn’t allow it to interfere with his work, and it was typically managed adequately with pain medication from the Doctor. Regular doses of a drug to help prevent the headaches combined with one that was to be taken when he began to have an episode controlled them neatly. This was likely the first time in decades he had experienced a migraine without the medication to cushion it.

Even with his near-perfect memory, he had still forgotten just how much they really hurt.

He doubled over even further, curling his legs to his chest and pushing his face into his knees. This had the added benefit of blocking out the ever-present light in his cell. He breathed deeply and could feel nausea rising in him. It would be awful to throw up. Tuvok had only ever thrown up once in the middle of a migraine. It had hurt so badly he had passed out from the pain.

It also would dehydrate him, and Tuvok didn’t know how long he would be incapacitated. He wouldn’t even be able to get up and go get a drink of water. He could not afford to become too dehydrated. Tuvok continued to swallow against the rising bile, breathing only in through his nose.

Once the first bout of nausea faded, it would be easier to deal with. However, his head was still painful. He reached a hand and lifted his head just a few inches. That was enough to let in some brutal light. He winced but carefully prodded his face.

It hadn’t started to hurt yet, which was a really good thing. If his face began to hurt, that pretty much meant that he wasn’t moving for the next few hours. He reburied his face in his knees and tried to focus on not throwing up. It was harder than he remembered.

Then, it was possible that after decades of effective treatment, his entire nervous system was unused to this kind of pain. Injuries, sure, he got them all the time. It came with working on a starship. Internal pain from his chronic condition and holdovers from his life, they were expected. Migraines were most definitely not. They made it impossible to do his job, and he had treated literally every single one since he had gone on the medication.

Tuvok continued to breathe and focused on not moving or doing anything else. He could deal with this. He just needed to think of it like it was another one of Kell’an’s tortures and accept that he could do nothing about it until he got out of there. Although eventually, the pain would become so bad that he wouldn’t focus on anything but the agony in his head. Until that point, he would simply bear it and hope that it wasn’t a long one.

He took several more deep, deliberate breaths in through his nose and felt the nausea recede even further. The subsequent waves were feeling easier to take now that he was back in practice. He would deal with it.

Janeway hadn’t stopped for a single break during her time working with Selvent. They were working to form a plan for the rescue of Tuvok. They didn’t want to risk alerting Kell’an and him killing Tuvok to cover up what he had done. Apparently, the last time they got close to capturing him, that happened. They got into the building. Somehow, he was alerted, killed his victim, and was gone before they could get to the room he kept his victims in.

Janeway was not going to risk that as a possibility. She had come too far; her crew had worked too hard to lose Tuvok by a few minutes.

She had spoken to Voyager to inform them that they needed to be ready to receive Tuvok as a patient in sickbay. The Doctor had replied that he had everything he thought would be useful in treating Vulcans at hand.

Sometimes, Janeway was incredibly appreciative of the fact that their Doctor was a hologram. He had no use of sleep, and he remembered literally everything from treating crewmembers in the past. It was shockingly useful when it came to Vulcans. Their physiology was just too complicated to leave to chance. However, any delay could see them dead.

They were nearing the last of their preparations. All they had to do was get the people in place. After that, they would be on the building and getting their crewmember back.

All Janeway had at that moment was a plan and a desperate hope. She didn’t know what she would do if she lost Tuvok.

Although she doesn’t know it, the answer was carry-on. In an alternate timeline, where they don’t get home in time, she loses him in the worst possible way. Yet, she carries-on and gets her crew home. However, she won’t know that for several years, and in this universe, she never really knows it at all. She doesn’t have to.


	27. Power Outage

Tuvok’s migraine had only receded for several minutes when the lights went out. He looked up, startled by this. In his entire time with Kell’an, the lights had never been turned off. Above him was a fluorescent light that lit the room with a dull shine. It cast shadows on all of the walls, and Tuvok imagined it was designed to unsettle the victims. It was also likely to try to keep them awake for long periods.

Suffice to say, it was out of routine for there to be no lights. Tuvok levered himself to his feet using the wall for support. It was almost shocking how much muscle mass he had lost during his time with Kell’ an. He was gaunt in a way he had never been before.

Despite his low energy levels, Tuvok knew that it was a good opportunity to try and escape _if_ this wasn’t an engineered test. The most logical reason the lights were out was that someone had turned them off. That might mean there were people outside who could help him get away from his captors. At the very least, he would know if the people outside were hostile or not.

It took more effort than the last time to cross the room and open his cell door. Thankfully, the lock was knocked out with the power out, and he didn’t have to worry. Just the energy it took to walk was almost more than he had.

Tuvok continued on doggedly. He had to get out of here, and he might not have the energy for another try. He made his way out the same way his last attempts had taken. He gave a thought to finding another way out that his captors wouldn’t think to check first. Then he dismissed the idea. He had no idea where they were, and he might just run in them. Alternatively, he might use up all of his energy, and there might not even be another door out.

He stumbled slowly up the stairs and was out of breath when he finally reached the top. The dark wasn’t helping with navigation, and he couldn’t see all the way down the hall. Tuvok stopped and listened carefully. He couldn’t hear anyone down the hall, but that didn’t mean there wasn’t anyone.

He caught his breath and then waited a moment to see if one of his captors was going to emerge and drag him back to his cell. When it didn’t happen, he took several cautious steps forward. Again, no one emerged from the darkness to punish him for attempting to escape. He walked slowly along, putting all of his energy into staying upright.

He didn’t bother with the console. Typically, he would’ve used it to open the door. However, with the power out, it wasn’t even worth checking. He approached the door, still expecting Kell’ an or Verant to step out of the shadows. They never did. It made Tuvok wonder where they were and if they were caught deeper in the building or if they had already made their escape.

The door was magnetic, so when the power went out, so did the lock. He was able to open it with hardly any trouble at all. Then, he was outside. Above him, the sun was shining, and all around him, he could hear the sounds absent within the building. The sounds of birds and animals, along with leaves rustling in the wind, helped assure him it was real. The light was almost blinding after spending so much time under fluorescent and then total darkness.

Out of the corner of his eyes, Tuvok could see that there was, in fact, a group moving along the wall quickly. He glanced at them and decided to move slowly towards them. He didn’t want them to think he was aggressive, although one look at his body would make that unlikely. Tuvok advanced slowly and continued to check to see if they had noticed him.

They eventually did notice him, and the group gestured towards him. They didn’t immediately open fire, which Tuvok took to mean they didn’t think him an enemy. Unfortunately, as soon as they caught sight of him, the door behind him opened, and Kell’an exited.

Captain Janeway chafed at not being allowed on the team that was going in. Chakotay had insisted that she would be better suited to running the operation from their base. She was the one that had the most command experience and would do the best in charge. She still didn’t like that their rescue of Tuvok would see her someplace besides where she thought he was.

Despite that, she knew he was right and swallowed her pride. She would not allow this to get to her. She would be cool and calm for this job, and they would bring her best friend home.

She watched on the feed as they cut the power to the building and began to advance. It was in the middle of nowhere, and it had taken a lot of time to get there. Once they were in, they had to find not only Tuvok but also his captor. Hopefully, they would be able to bring him to justice.

Janeway was worried that when they cut the power that it might spur the captor to kill Tuvok in an attempt to cover it up. Although she quickly pushed that thought aside. Now was not the time to second guess.

She observed as they got closer and closer to the building. Suddenly she saw a familiar figure and her heart jumped into her throat. He was long and lean like usual but much gaunter than she remembered. She watched to make sure Chakotay and the others noticed. She knew the exact moment when they realized who was up on the hill.

Hope flared full inside of Janeway’s chest. He was alive and well enough to walk; they would have him back where he belonged. She breathed out a deep breath and immediately took it back in. She could see that the door to the building behind Tuvok had opened. He was being pursued by his captors, and they were much closer to him than Chakotay’s team.


	28. Accidents

Tuvok turned to see Kell’an leave the building. Although Verant was nowhere in sight. He hesitated. If the people were hostile, it would just eat up his escape attempt. If they weren’t, they would be his way out. Tuvok quickly decided that there wasn’t a lot of chance of him getting away by himself. He needed help, and if they were willing, he could not afford to miss the opportunity.

He turned back towards them and broke into a slow jog. Kell’an shouted angrily after him, but Tuvok didn’t pay him any attention. He was getting away _now._

As he grew closer to the group, he was gratified to see that Commander Chakotay was amongst them. He knew that he had made the right decision. Tuvok wasn’t moving as fast as he would without the exhaustion, but he was still outpacing Kell’an behind him.

He knew that he would outrun the sadist and that he just needed to get to the shelter of the group. Before he was able to, though, he tripped over something on the ground. In his focus on where he was going, he hadn’t bothered to keep an eye on the ground.

He stumbled, windmilling in an attempt to keep his balance, and then he fell forward. He thrust his hands out in front of him to cushion the fall, but it barely worked at all. Tuvok hit the dirt, and the wind was knocked out of him. He attempted to push himself back up and realized that he had been impaled with something.

Tuvok stared at the sharp piece of metal sticking out of his chest and absentmindedly mused that it was likely a holdover from an old building. He touched the wound gently with his hand and winced as it jarred the metal. Tuvok knew that removing it was the worst thing he could do. It might mean bleeding out before he could get medical help.

Tuvok took a deep breath and tried not to think about what it would mean if he died from this. To survive all of that time in a horrible situation and then to have an accident be the thing that killed him. It was almost unthinkable and not at all befitting a Lt. Commander in Star Fleet.

He breathed carefully and levered himself to his feet. He could see Kell’an closing in on his position and knew instinctually that if he got to him, Tuvok would most certainly die. Somehow, he was able to climb to his feet. His side was aching in agony, but Tuvok used the stamina he had built during his time with Kell’an and Verant to ignore it. 

He poured all of his energy into moving forward. Every step seemed harder than the last, and he was losing blood fast. Tuvok knew that he would be in the clear if he could just get to Chakotay’s group. They could take him back to Voyager and patch him. Then it would be like this time hadn’t even happened. That it had all been a bad dream.

He was moving slowly but still making good forward progress. Kell’an was moving fast enough to catch up to him, but Tuvok could already see. He was close enough to the group that it wouldn’t be in time. Each of them was running as quickly as they possibly could. Tuvok stumbled forward his last few steps completely unstable and would’ve fallen forward again if it hadn’t been for Chakotay.

Chakotay’s group closed ranks around them, and before he knew it, Tuvok was surrounded by allies. Chakotay kept a firm grip on his waist and tried to support his weight. Chakotay allowed a single hand to find it’s way to Tuvok’s cheek. He pressed gently, and Tuvok attempted to hold his weight up.

“Hold on for just a few seconds. We’re going to beam you up. I can’t believe we actually were able to find you and get you back.”

“You might not have me for very long if I don’t get medical attention. I believe that this object has punctured a lung. I likely only have a few minutes before I drown in my own blood.”

“Of course. Voyager, this is Commander Chakotay. I’ve got Tuvok. I need an emergency beam out to sickbay on him right now. He’s in pretty rough shape.”

Janeway stared in horror as she watched what was happening. Tuvok was moving towards them but slowly. She had never seen him like that before. It was hard to believe that it really was her best friend. He was gaunt, and there were deep bags under his eyes.

She could only wait with her breath held as he got closer to the attack group. Each step brought him closer and closer to freedom. Then he stumbled. She expected Tuvok to regain his balance, but he didn’t. He fell towards the ground, and for a few moments, the cameras focused on him saw nothing.

Then he got to his feet, slowly and painfully and Janeway immediately knew why. There was a piece of metal sticking out of his abdomen. She stifled the gasp that wanted to escape. However, she couldn’t help the second one that bubbled up out of her. She could see someone pursuing him.

Tuvok noticed him and began to move towards the attack group once again. His movements were even slower, but Chakotay and the others moved fast enough to make up for it. She watched as her technical officer finally made it to the safety of the group. They closed in a tight circle around him, and Chakotay grabbed hold of him.

She watched as the exchanged words, then listened as Chakotay called for an emergency beam out. Only then, once she knew Tuvok was back on Voyager, did she allow herself to relax and breathe. Watching and being unable to go anything was one of the hardest things she had ever had to do.

Janeway could hardly believe that their part of it was all over. They finally had him back. After weeks of searching and days of desperate hope that they would get him back, they finally had. Now all he had to do was recover from his physical wounds.

She knew better than to think that he could make a full recovery from what had happened to him mentally. He would take months, years perhaps, before he was even close to the person they remembered. Until then, they would all do their best to make sure he was taken care of in every imaginable way.


	29. Intubation

The Doctor was ready to receive his patient the minute the team had beamed down to the planet. He had been appraised of the situation when they met up with their informant. He had been prepping for it ever since. He had gone to great lengths to make sure he would have everything he needed to take care of Tuvok. The Doctor had even made sure to get Lt. Paris there with him to have someone to serve as a nurse.

However, nothing could prepare him for the sight before him.

He had seen many injuries in his time as Voyager’s only doctor. He had failed to treat multiple wounds leading to deaths. He had seen horrific things and hardly been phased. However, never in his short existence had he ever been exposed to such awful, intentional wounds.

As soon as Tuvok was beamed into his sickbay, he and Paris got to work assessing the damage. He ran his tricorder over the prone form, checking to see which injury would take precedence. It was immediately apparent that the piece of metal sticking out of his chest would need to be dealt with first.

The Doctor frowned at the sight of it and the readings. The time needed to repair such a severe injury was significant. He needed to remove the foreign object, clean the wound of any remnants, and heal it. That would take more time than Tuvok could go without oxygen.

“Mr. Paris, we’re going to need to do an old Earth-style procedure to save Mr. Tuvok’s life. I am going to intubate him. I want you to sedate him so that he won’t wake for several hours. Your job will be to hold his head back and brace it. I need to make sure that I get the tube down his windpipe.”

Paris stared at him but did as he was instructed. He sedated Tuvok and adjusted his head the proper way while the Doctor replicated what he needed. He took the guide and tube and approached Tuvok, not entirely believing what he was about to do.

“Hold his head back so that his throat is as straight as possible, yes, just like that. I’m going to slip this into his windpipe and put oxygen directly into his lungs. That should keep him alive until I can treat the injury. Alright, here we go.”

He used the metal guide to position the tube correctly. Once in, he connected the oxygen to it and scanned Tuvok again. The Doctor was pleased to see that his oxygen levels were rising. Still, he didn’t like having to do this kind of procedure on anyone. It was too old, too physical, and too likely to cause issues. Despite that, he didn’t have much choice.

The Doctor took a figurative breath. He stopped and calmed himself down. Then he set himself to the task of healing the lung wound. That only took a few minutes before he was satisfied that it was on the mend. He would keep Tuvok intubated until he was sure that his oxygen levels wouldn’t drop too far.

Although completing his work with the lung meant he could work on Tuvok’s body’s other injuries.

The Doctor hadn’t ever worked with torture victims before. Thankfully, the Voyager had been lucky enough to avoid anyone who would be the sort of person to torture them. They had some bad luck, but torture had never gone very far beyond a few cuts and bruises.

Until now, that is. He had never seen so many bruises before. That combined with a barely healed knife wound, disturbingly close to Tuvok’s heart and various other problems. The Doctor wasn’t so much concerned with his physical condition. He was likely the best doctor in the quadrant. The mental scars would prove to be the most damaging, and unlike the physical, he could heal them with a regenerator and a hypospray.

The Doctor could tell that Tuvok’s condition was taking its toll on Paris, so he sent him back to his quarters for some rest. He had already done the most challenging part, and everything else could be done alone. There was no reason for both of them to be subject to the horror of their Security Chief.

Chakotay had beamed Tuvok back to the ship and turned his attention back to the alien that had been pursuing him. It seemed that he had realized that he was outnumbered and had lost his victim as he stopped where he was. He glanced over at them and then turned around and bolted.

“Pursue! We can’t let him getaway. Who knows how many more victims he will take before you have a chance to catch him again.”

The strike team moved fast and immediately began to pursue him. The alien was fast, but the group was much quicker. They had trained for this, and the scientist was clearly outmatched. It only took a few minutes, and they had caught up to him.

“Stop, Dr. Kell’an! You are under arrest for multiple crimes, including torture and murder of innocent citizens. You will not be allowed to get away with these crimes!”

Chakotay gave his team member an admiring nod. He couldn’t have done it better himself, and he knew that this team was the right choice for them to retrieve their teammate. It seemed that Kell’an knew he wasn’t getting out of this one because he stopped where he was and waited for them to approach.

Before Chakotay could blink, Kell’an was being cuffed and hauled away by two team members. He was going much quieter than a serial killing, sadistic torturer should be, and Chakotay was immediately suspicious. However, he had no idea what it might be that he was hiding, leaving him with little to no options.

He supervised Kell’an’s movement to the armored vehicle and watched as they took him into custody. Eventually, he would stand trial, likely be found guilty, and then receive punishment. Chakotay knew that he should head back to the Captain and the others to beam to the Voyager. However, there was something that made him hesitate. He glanced at Tuvok’s captor and pondered what it could be that he was hiding. After a few fruitless minutes, he decided that it didn’t matter. Now that they had Tuvok back, it was none of their business anyway.

They had made a deal with the government, and now they needed to hold up their part of it. They would collect the last of their crew and leave this system without any more interference or hostility.


	30. Internal Organ Injury

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Second to last one. They're all written so I just need to post them.

Tuvok woke in pain. This wasn’t unusual for him; every day since he had been captured, he had woken up in pain. However, this time, the pain seemed dulled, like someone had dampened it down, and he was only feeling part of the effect. It was an interesting sensation, although not one he enjoyed. He opened his eyes and looked around him. Instead of his cell, he was in the sickbay in Voyager.

The sound of soft humming, opera it sounded like, came from somewhere to his right. He looked around and caught sight of the Doctor, tending to some test tubes and humming to himself. Tuvok breathed in and was surprised at the sharp feeling that came with it. In his time with Kell’an, the man had never dared to wound him fatally on purpose. He was always neurotically careful in making sure that although they caused pain, they weren’t actually that dangerous.

He thought back to the events that had brought him back to his ship but came up with a blank. He couldn’t remember how he had gotten back here or if the crew of Voyager had come for him. He frowned and attempted again to recall, but it was like there was a hole in his memory.

“You might be experiencing some amnesia. When you got here, you had lost a lot of blood. The blood loss has likely caused you to forget some things or make memories hazy and unclear. What is the last thing you remember?”

Tuvok glanced at the doctor and then focused. “I had a headache; it had just begun to recede when the power in the building went out. I decided that it was best to make an escape attempt. I remember leaving my cell, but that is it.”

The Doctor smiled at him. “Excellent. I can fill you in on the rest later. I can assure you that you made it outside of the building where our crew's group, combined with a few locals, converged on the building. Then they beamed you here for some medical attention. You are incredibly lucky. If you had been only a few minutes longer, you would’ve bled to death. That is a severe injury you have. I had to intubate you to keep oxygen in your lungs.”

“How severe is it? I have had internal injuries before, but they’ve never hurt like this before.”

“I’m afraid you won’t be moving around much for the time being. I am healing the damage to your lung, but it is still incredibly weak and likely to start bleeding again. Internal injuries are silent killers, and there is not a chance I will release you before I have deemed it impossible for the tears in your lung to reopen. You’ll just have to get used to being here for a while. However, you are beginning to heal nicely, and the regenerators are doing their work. Hopefully, no more than a week on that particular injury.”

Tuvok nodded. “When may I know the rest of the story of how I got here? I’m curious as to how it came to pass. I attempted to escape several times and even aided another in getting away. However, I was never successful myself.”

“Ah, your friend Reinchaln. They passed along your message on the way back to their homeworld. They also gave your coordinates. However, you can know all of that later. Perhaps once you have had more rest and have healed further, I will allow Captain Janeway to tell you the whole story. However, for the next few days, I want you to lay still and not extend yourself. You have been very badly injured, and after all the work I’ve done, I won’t lose you. Your curiosity will just have to wait.”

Tuvok thought about arguing the point but decided against it. It seemed like a lot of effort currently, and he was exhausted. For the first time in weeks, he would have the ability to rest without worrying about his captors. He was finally safe, and he was going to enjoy the time he had to recover. Hopefully, the crew wouldn’t be too overbearing or concerned about his issues. He just really wanted some peace and quiet.

The Doctor was satisfied when he saw Tuvok drift back to sleep. He had been steadily working on the smaller injuries ever since he had stabilized the Vulcan. Although it was slow going. There was only so much healing a body could do, and it needed to focus most of its energy on healing the massive chest wound.

The Doctor was thankful that he didn’t require any sleep and could work endlessly on his patients. He didn’t get tired or sloppy and could continue doing his job for as long as needed. It often meant saving patients that would otherwise have been gone. There weren’t many upsides to being a hologram, but that was definitely a big one.

He kept one eye on his patient and continued on his work with the tests. He was making sure that Tuvok hadn’t picked up any infections during his captivity and that he wouldn’t get something that killed him silently. As filthy as his wounds were, it was a definite possibility.

Plus, there was that poorly healed stab wound to his torso. It was partially infected and had very clearly been dealt with by an amateur. The Doctor didn’t like dealing with internal injuries; they were tricky and snuck up on you. It wasn’t often an issue because most of what they dealt with were external. Burns and blast wounds that needed healing.

Rarely did he have to do internal medicine, and he was glad of it.

The Doctor often felt that it wasn’t his strong suit. He had spent years focused on certain types of injuries and now had personal experience beyond the database that had been programmed into him.

He glanced at his patient and sighed. Vulcans were so much more complicated than humans. Their logic ruled them, but they were a secretive bunch. They kept much of their biology a complete secret to other races. That made them aggravating to heal.

However, they weren’t ruled with emotion and often made sounder choices than humans. Choosing what made the most sense, which the Doctor could appreciate. He just didn’t know how Tuvok was going to take his convalescence nor his mental trauma. It was so hard to tell on the front end.


	31. Experiment

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last one everybody!

Tuvok looked over the senior staff. They were gathered in the conference room, the first meeting Tuvok had attended since he had been taken. He glanced from face to face and could read the earnestness in most of them. He sighed lightly, knowing that it needed to be done, and then began to speak.

“I have noticed the efforts that you all have gone to make me comfortable, and they have not gone unnoticed. You have all worked incredibly hard to make sure that my transition back to Voyager would go smoothly, and I appreciate it a great deal. Therefore, I decided you should know at least a little about what went on during my time in captivity.”

Immediately there came a volley of voices all speaking at once. Janeway quieted them down with a wave of her hand. She turned attentively towards him.

“You know that you aren’t obligated to do this. We have made these preparations out of our concern for your well-being and care for you as a person.”

“I am aware. However, I still believe that speaking about a little of what happened could be beneficial. I will have some issues in the near future, adjusting back to living on Voyager. If you are serious about helping me, it could only assist in your efforts.”

He looked around at each of them, their faces not showing a single bit of disappointment, disgust, or not wanting to be there. He sighed again and pushed forward.

“I shall start with Kell’an and Verant’s reasoning for capturing me in the first place.”

“Wait, who’s Verant? We only knew about Dr. Kell’an. The local law enforcement had been tracking him for a long time. He was wanted for a lot of crimes.” Harry Kim accompanied his words with a series of gestures that seemed to convey confusion and anxiety.

“He is Kell’an’s partner. I didn’t realize until after I had met him that they were in on it together. Likely you didn’t find him because Kell’an sent him. I believe that if there is one thing in this world beyond Kell’an’s twisted research that he loves, it is Verant. Likely when you were attacking his facility, Kell’an used the opportunity of my appearance to distract you and allow him to slip away.”

“That sounds really bad. What if he tries again? Perhaps he would like to carry on his partner’s work. Maybe even pursue us and come after Mr. Vulcan again.” Neelix’s hands wrung together.

Tuvok tilted his head at him and pondered it for a second. Although Verant had been just as cruel as Kell’an, he didn’t seem to have the same drive.

“It is unlikely that he would pursue alone. Verant was very much the submissive personality, and he followed exclusively after Kell’an. He won’t want to attempt to take another victim or an old victim, such as myself, without his partner. He simply does not have the wherewithal.”

Captain Janeway sat back in her chair and watched Tuvok. “Continue. We don’t want to get too distracted, as distressing as it is to find out that there is another guilty party who hasn’t been caught yet. You were about to talk about why they took you and what they were doing.”

“Yes. Kell’an was doing research into how to effectively teach soldiers to endure torture. His prevailing theory was that if you could find a being able to withstand even the most horrible tortures and then extract or teach whatever it was that made them unique, it would be possible to make them immune. Theoretically, it could work. However, he had yet to find a specimen that stood up to his high standards.”

There was silence around the table. The one to break it was, surprisingly, Seven. She seemed a little tentative with her words about what had happened, which Tuvok understood. She was the one out of this entire group that had known him for the least amount of time. Still, she was intelligent and insightful, so he often sought her counsel.

“You are saying that you were nothing but an experiment? That you have spent weeks being tortured by people who simply wanted to see if you could stand up to it. I don’t know a lot about ethics, but even I know that that is horrible.”

There was a small murmur of agreement around the table—each of the senior staff nodding to each other and agreeing quietly. Tuvok glanced around, wondering how much they should know. The more pertinent details they had, the more comfortable they could make the move for him. However, it would also mean he needed to reveal something that felt incredibly personal. Logic and comfort won out in the end. Private or not, this was important information, and they likely would need it.

“His entire purpose was to break me down mentally. When he found that he couldn’t do it physically, he began to work on my mental state. Unfortunately, it partially worked. I spent much time agonizing over whether it was the right decision to send that message buoy. I worried that I might have led you into a trap or danger. It seemed incredibly selfish that I should call for your help. However, that isn’t logical. I have faith that if it was perilous that you, Captain, would never lead your people there. That much pain and psychological torment can warp your thought processes.”

There were another few beats of silence, and Tuvok took the time to evaluate his words on each of the staff members. Some were horrified, some were resigned, and some didn’t allow their emotions to play across their faces. It was Captain Janeway that finally spoke.

“We likely would’ve come for you, even if it was at great risk to ourselves. I spoke several times to the crew about our rescue mission. They knew that there was possible danger, but no one spoke out against it. If it had been guaranteed to be dangerous, I might’ve considered not going. However, even you defied logic and chose to help Chakotay and me, how could we do anything less? I know that you don’t understand humans completely, but you must know that we will always go after our crew members. Even if it means danger and even if that crew member doesn’t want to be rescued.”


End file.
